Articles

 
Spraycations: 18,362 reasons to Holiday in Cork

Spraycations: 18,362 reasons to Holiday in Cork

There really is no reason to leave Cork for your holiday this year..

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State of Hairmergency To End

State of Hairmergency To End

If birds are starting to land on your head piece or you've mangled it trying to add your own highlights, the wait is nearly over as hairdressers and barbers reopen....

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Myrtleville Mayhem and Phase 2 Beach Panic

Myrtleville Mayhem and Phase 2 Beach Panic

When the 5km travel restriction increases to 20km, close to 200,000 Cork city citizens will be able to flock to three or four small beaches like Myrtleville and Rocky Bay....

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PROC Lockdown Lives: Finbarr Makes That Call

PROC Lockdown Lives: Finbarr Makes That Call

Even though there are reasons to justify it in his own head, Finbarr* knows this is wrong even though the young woman who he contacted seems to be fine about it...

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Street Dealer Can Do You 5 Litres of Weathershield On Tick

Street Dealer Can Do You 5 Litres of Weathershield On Tick

As the lockdown drags on and patience grows thin among the population, Corkonians are taking risks and doing all sorts of things they would never have done before...

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One All-Nighter On The Lash Per Week Per Child

One All-Nighter On The Lash Per Week Per Child

To help morale, the post-covid rewards for parents locked down with kids for weeks on end have been published...

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Toddler Emailing Mam’s Boss While She Blacks Out on Couch

Toddler Emailing Mam’s Boss While She Blacks Out on Couch

Don't worry if you're a sleep deprived parent whose childless boss expects you to maintain full productivity while minding a toddler on your own, they can help you stay on top of things while you sleep...

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Ughhhhh: Imagine Shifting Someone You Just Met in a Pub

Ughhhhh: Imagine Shifting Someone You Just Met in a Pub

As utterly revolting and criminally unhygienic as it sounds in the middle of the corona crisis, one day soon Corkonians will once again swap saliva in public and nobody will bat an eyelid....

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Dollar and Euro Plummet Against Toilet Roll

Dollar and Euro Plummet Against Toilet Roll

In another disastrous day of trading in currency markets worldwide both the euro and dollar have plummeted against the toilet roll.

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PROC’s Lockdown Survival Tips For Exhausted Parents

PROC’s Lockdown Survival Tips For Exhausted Parents

Running out of ideas and sanity quickly during the lockdown? Next time you get more than 25 seconds to yourself, read our top tips to not having your children taken from you by the High Court....

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Corona Virus and Carbon Footprint: More Reasons To Never Leave Cork

Corona Virus and Carbon Footprint: More Reasons To Never Leave Cork

Even if you don't believe in climate change or you just don't give a hoot, your carbon footprint and the Chinese snots are great excuses to stay in Cork

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A List For Mick

A List For Mick

We are being softened up for a Fianna Fáil/Fine Gael coalition so it's a good time to make a list of what Cork expects if Micheál Martin becomes Taoiseach...

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How a United Ireland Could Herald A People’s Republic

How a United Ireland Could Herald A People’s Republic

If Nordies are to be persuaded to vote to join a country that is Europe's most capital-centric nation, then the Republic's toxic Dublin bias must be eradicated....

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Valentines Day Poem To Cork

Valentines Day Poem To Cork

We all have a deep, deep love of Cork, it really is the berries, From its beaches and its rivers, from its islands to its ferries....

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A Children’s Tale: Cork’s Magical Musical Hall

A Children’s Tale: Cork’s Magical Musical Hall

Four years ago the sod was turned on Cork's event centre - children born that day are now old enough to understand the story of two princes, a princess and a big ugly field...

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Election Issues: End Open Borders?

Election Issues: End Open Borders?

Cork's borders are not being policed. How many more Kerrymen can Cork be expected to take in? We address the real issues effecting the People's Republic...

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