Cork Couple Separate after Hungover trip to B&Q

29th May 2025

Ballincollig couple Maria Banasik and Garry ‘Fluffy’ Healy have agreed to separate after a hungover trip to DIY store, B&Q in Mahon.

The married pair who both work for a well-known medical devices company in Cork city met in a bathroom at an infamous staff party that received widespread coverage on social media.

Healy and Banasik, who had been putting off discussing new wallpaper for their downstairs jacks for over 3 months, finally decided to take on the project last Sunday afternoon after a coke and booze fuelled “date night” that ended with Healy arriving home without any clothes despite getting into a taxi with them on.

The couple were seen in B&Q bickering furiously after reducing the wallpaper choice down to “Bubble Gum Fun” and “Alpha Blue”.

“He was just being deliberately being an irritating gowl bag with the big stupid hungover head on him”, claimed Banasik while Healy described his girlfriend as being “like some mafia boss in one of the Godfather movies but with stupid tadpole eyebrows a swarm of bees trying to burrow up her f**king hole”    

Pensioner Eileen Cotter who came across the domestic spat tried to intervene - suggesting alternative colours the couple might agree on - however both decided to email their solicitors from the wallpaper isle to seek a divorce before returning home, empty-handed, for passionate make-up sex that could be heard out in Farran.