Weather Update: GoFundMe For A Roof Over Cork

10th Feb 2026

Weather Update: PROC Set Up GoFundMe For A Roof Over Cork

PROC has announced that will be setting up GoFundMe to put a roof over the city and county.

With relentless torrents of rain pouring down on the Rebel County over the last three months, most of it sent by that crowd Met Éireann above in Dublin, it now appears to be the only long-term solution to the incessant non-stop sidewards rain drowning Ireland since early November.

A world first, this visionary project, designed by a group styling itself PROC War On Rain Action Group (formerly known as the “Quiet Pints On A Sunday” Whatsapp group), will construct a never-seen-before series of interconnected retractable roofs over the entire length of Cork.

A large network of aqueducts will be constructed to send millions of gallons of rainwater into neighbouring counties instead thus keeping the PROC nice and dry and preventing flooding.

BLUE SKY THINKING

End-of-the-line locations are yet to be decided but eastern Kerry, south Limerick and Tipperary and west Waterford are expected to all have a network “terminus” where colossal volumes of water and possibly other unwanted effluent will be “spat” into Not Cork. A giant one-way outlet valve will operate in a noisy pulsing manner mimicking the sound of a young fella on a stolen bike glugging at something he doesn’t like.  

The roofs will automatically retract when it is not raining to allow Corkonians to bask in the sunshine and small volumes of rain water will be occasionally let fall on the People’s Republic to help farmers and for hygiene reasons after intercounty GAA games at Páirc Uí Chaoimh.