Irish Political Parties Position on Cork Independence

27th Nov 2024

A rundown on Irish political parties positions on Cork becoming an independent state…

Sinn Féin are “totally against” the idea of second land border on the island of Ireland. While this may seem definitive and final, it does not address PROC’s own “Cork as an Island” proposal which detaches Cork from the rest of the island by digging a wide trench along the county bounds separating the county from Kerry, Limerick, Tipperary and Waterford. Allowing the Atlantic to fill the mile wide trench would effectively separate us and make it easier for Sinn Féin to apply their policy of self-determination for any part of the island. 

Fianna Fáil finds itself in a particularly lucky position of having a leader who is from Cork. However, Michéal Martin has never made his view public on independence but is strongly suspected (by us admittedly) of being a PROC mole. However, given his inability to get relatively trivial projects like the Event Centre over the line despite holding the office of Taoiseach for a time, doubts have been cast over his ability to deliver independence not to mind a few pet projects for Cork. 

Fine Gael has yet to declare its hand when it comes to Rebel sovereignty but given it’s soft-touch approach to riots in Dublin they would be the easiest government party to push over in a southern coup. In 2016 a Fine Gael leader was pictured outside the Event Centre site announcing the start of construction. A short 8 years later it’s still just a muddy dump so even if they promised to give Cork independence next week in order for their candidates to top the poll around the city and county, you couldn’t trust the langers. 

The Green’s have a long history of favouring local self-determination. Recent examples include plebiscites on elected mayors for Limerick and Cork (we voted ‘no’ as it wouldn’t have given us much independence). As the offshore wind capital of the island, losing Cork would be a blow to their clean energy policies but we’d happily sell Ireland our power at a very gougey premium that included a deal on preventing Limerick people from trying to swim across the border trench to Cork.  

Mirroring the two big civil war parties Labour and the Social Democrats are largely indistinguishable from each other and exist merely to take votes from each other…..albeit the latter has a Cork leader. Holly Cairns is heavily pregnant and has had to step back from canvassing, however by giving birth to a precious new Corkonian she is about to do more for the Cork cause than her Labour rival will ever do. 

On the other side of the political spectrum the Stop-Calling-Us-Far-Right far right groups say they haven’t had time to form a policy on Cork independence yet as there are huge number of asylum-seeking women and children left to intimidate on TikTok live streams in time for the general election but said if Cork is willing to adopt the policies of Nazi Germany then they are certainly willing to look at it.  

“We are currently busy creating content outside IPOS centres around the country to grow our social media following. We would ask you to be patient as shouting at women and children all day is difficult and time consuming and last week we didn’t get paid by the Caymen Islands shell company setup by the “Belarussian Philanthropist” that sponsors us. ”