Autism

[Happyhonkaman]

Sad to report our 13 year old has stopped going to school the past two weeks, He did have a cold prior to that and was out two days,
Hence his routine is out, The school sent a family liason man to our house last week but to no avail, We are resigned to the fact he may not go back,
But he will be cut off completely socially, He hasnt left the house in over a week now,
I have told herself not to buy him anything for xmas. My attitude is he cant have it both ways, But herself says it would make matters ten times worse,

JimmY, I have no experience at all of this kind of thing so I will be of little help. Good luck with it over the next while and try to get yourself out running, the headspace is important for you too with everything going on

 

[jimmym]

JimmY, I have no experience at all of this kind of thing so I will be of little help. Good luck with it over the next while and try to get yourself out running, the headspace is important for you too with everything going on

From what i hear it is more and more prevalent now, The guy who called to us from the school assured us we were not the only parents
in the school going through this,

 

[Blue Jasmin]

Sad to report our 13 year old has stopped going to school the past two weeks, He did have a cold prior to that and was out two days,
Hence his routine is out, The school sent a family liason man to our house last week but to no avail, We are resigned to the fact he may not go back,
But he will be cut off completely socially, He hasnt left the house in over a week now,
I have told herself not to buy him anything for xmas. My attitude is he cant have it both ways, But herself says it would make matters ten times worse,

She's right imho, if you do that it could ruin Christmas for the whole household, put a real damper on things, maybe have a Christmas truce on the matter and go at it again in January, that's if he does refuse to go in for the rest of this year.

I would gently remind him though that he does need to go back in the new year.

 

[Pontipine]

Sad to report our 13 year old has stopped going to school the past two weeks, He did have a cold prior to that and was out two days,
Hence his routine is out, The school sent a family liason man to our house last week but to no avail, We are resigned to the fact he may not go back,
But he will be cut off completely socially, He hasnt left the house in over a week now,
I have told herself not to buy him anything for xmas. My attitude is he cant have it both ways, But herself says it would make matters ten times worse,

It’s tough going jimmy. We’ve been through it all here but keep battling.

Your wife is correct about christmas presents. You can’t punish the boy over behaviour that he can’t really control. I’m not sure what help he’s getting but he needs intervention ASAP.

Have you been in touch with CAMHS? Hard to get the foot in the door but when you do they are brilliant.

 

[Rebelbaggie]

Sad to report our 13 year old has stopped going to school the past two weeks, He did have a cold prior to that and was out two days,
Hence his routine is out, The school sent a family liason man to our house last week but to no avail, We are resigned to the fact he may not go back,
But he will be cut off completely socially, He hasnt left the house in over a week now,
I have told herself not to buy him anything for xmas. My attitude is he cant have it both ways, But herself says it would make matters ten times worse,

I hear you Jimmy and feel for you but you don’t want to do anything that will wreck your relationship with your young lad into the future. He’s not being rebellious in any way. It’s really tough and few enough will know what you and your wife are going through. Every case is different but from personal experience I was the parent who wanted him to fit in and pushed too much. It didn’t work and I have huge regrets although we’re fine now.

Sad to report our 13 year old has stopped going to school the past two weeks, He did have a cold prior to that and was out two days,
Hence his routine is out, The school sent a family liason man to our house last week but to no avail, We are resigned to the fact he may not go back,
But he will be cut off completely socially, He hasnt left the house in over a week now,
I have told herself not to buy him anything for xmas. My attitude is he cant have it both ways, But herself says it would make matters ten times worse,

 

[Clairecarebear]

It’s tough going jimmy. We’ve been through it all here but keep battling.

Your wife is correct about christmas presents. You can’t punish the boy over behaviour that he can’t really control. I’m not sure what help he’s getting but he needs intervention ASAP.

Have you been in touch with CAMHS? Hard to get the foot in the door but when you do they are brilliant.

Yes you cannot hope to achieve the result you want if you don't keep at the forefront that it is not an intentional action by him. He's processing something and it's causing him distress.

I would advise speaking to a lady named Laura Crowley from Autism Connect Consultancy she is wonderful with that type of thing.

I wish you and your family all the best it's a very difficult situation.

 

[Crusty Ring]

Wishing you and the family all the best Jimmy, great to see posters here with experience with this type of situation helping out.

 

[hurley68]

Jim...give him a few more days.Don't let on a thing and he will go back.I know how hard it can be...have nephew in his thirties.Do not go to war over it.

 

[Clairecarebear]

One of the things I always reiterate when dealing with all types of relationships is that frustration with another person most often lies not with their behaviour but with our challenges in understanding it.

 

[fed up]

One of the things I always reiterate when dealing with all types of relationships is that frustration with another person most often lies not with their behaviour but with our challenges in understanding it.

While you're right it also comes across as judgemental.

Build bridges not walls.