Woman murdered in Tullamore..

[The High King]

I don't doubt women are also abusers, but to suggest coercive control is asking a partner to not go to the pub you're completely missing the point. To have someone destroy any self-confidence you had, spend your time trying to avoid conflict, putting their needs before your own, contradicting what you know to be true, being anxious and being disgusted by your own body. In the best case scenario you eventually can get the strength to walk away, but the damage is done. I was aware what he was doing and spent years trying to explain exactly how he was damaging me. Counselling definitely helped and having my family and friends there to support me. I don't hide what happened to me. I wouldn't want my worst enemy to go through that, so if some randomer on Twitter wants people to report this behaviour, go ahead.

I had a similar experience with a early girlfriend. She had me convinced that I was going mad and all the while she was manipulating me , sleeping all around her, cutting me off from my old friends and all the while telling me I was just paranoid. I thought I loved her so she sorta had me half convinced.
All from a woman who was half my size who I could crush like an aunt.
It took me years to trust anyone again.

Women can be just as big manipulators as men and cause just as much psychological damage. I look back now and can hardly believe the mess she had me in.

 

[Eleven]

I had a similar experience with a early girlfriend. She had me convinced that I was going mad and all the while she was manipulating me , sleeping all around her, cutting me off from my old friends and all the while telling me I was just paranoid. I thought I loved her so she sorta had me half convinced.
All from a woman who was half my size who I could crush like an aunt.
It took me years to trust anyone again.

Women can be just as big manipulators as men and cause just as much psychological damage. I look back now and can hardly believe the mess she had me in.

I am glad you escaped and are able to trust again.

 

[Choon]

It seems as though a few issues are getting mixed up with the Ashling Murphy murder. The outcry on social media was an attempt to address men’s attitudes towards women but mainly younger men, some of whom have grown up with a much different view of women than previously generations due to internet porn and the isolation that comes with the internet in general. There was a lot of pent up frustration around this and so Ashling’s murder was jumped on very quickly but it was the wrong event to use as an example. It was carried out by a maniac not by some disrespectful 20 something with misogynistic tendencies.

I’m pretty sure if you talk to women at college age they would highlight concerns they have about young men’s attitudes to women. Not all young men either hence the push for a conversation.

The 50 pages of arguing here was instigated by a few who are basically out of touch with what’s happening. Men and women can end up in shitty relationships. Many a man has committed suicide because of them. Many a woman has suffered terrible abuse because of them. And there will always be psychopaths who will murder us. That will never change.

We probably can change and educate young men ( and women ) when it comes to the material they view online because that shit is horrendous for the human brain no matter what some creepy liberals believe.

 

[Roxetten]

It seems as though a few issues are getting mixed up with the Ashling Murphy murder. The outcry on social media was an attempt to address men’s attitudes towards women but mainly younger men, some of whom have grown up with a much different view of women than previously generations due to internet porn and the isolation that comes with the internet in general. There was a lot of pent up frustration around this and so Ashling’s murder was jumped on very quickly but it was the wrong event to use as an example. It was carried out by a maniac not by some disrespectful 20 something with misogynistic tendencies.

I’m pretty sure if you talk to women at college age they would highlight concerns they have about young men’s attitudes to women. Not all young men either hence the push for a conversation.

The 50 pages of arguing here was instigated by a few who are basically out of touch with what’s happening. Men and women can end up in shitty relationships. Many a man has committed suicide because of them. Many a woman has suffered terrible abuse because of them. And there will always be psychopaths who will murder us. That will never change.

We probably can change and educate young men ( and women ) when it comes to the material they view online because that shit is horrendous for the human brain no matter what some creepy liberals believe.

Excellent post.

It's incredible that the most extreme porn is freely available to view online and yet newspapers are increasingly disappearing behind pay walls.

 

[Hank Scorpio]

Excellent post.

It's incredible that the most extreme porn is freely available to view online and yet newspapers are increasingly disappearing behind pay walls.

^

On point

 

[Matlock]

And I quote:

'to suggest coercive control is asking a partner to not go to the pub is completely missing the point'

How is controlling a partners behavior in this instance any less harmful or unhealthy?


Women like to pretend they have a monopoly on being the victim of abusive and damaging relationships. Anything but.

Asking someone is not the same as compelling someone...

"Dan, can you pick up milk in the shop for me?"

'Stop trying to control me"

It must be like living with Kevin and Perry in your gaff

 

[Matlock]

I had a similar experience with a early girlfriend. She had me convinced that I was going mad and all the while she was manipulating me , sleeping all around her, cutting me off from my old friends and all the while telling me I was just paranoid. I thought I loved her so she sorta had me half convinced.
All from a woman who was half my size who I could crush like an aunt.
It took me years to trust anyone again.

Women can be just as big manipulators as men and cause just as much psychological damage. I look back now and can hardly believe the mess she had me in.

I'm sorry that happened to you. Glad you recovered.

 

[Hank Scorpio]

Asking someone is not the same as compelling someone...

"Dan, can you pick up milk in the shop for me?"

'Stop trying to control me"

It must be like living with Kevin and Perry in your gaff

Took you long enough.


Asking someone to get milk isn't remotely comparable to telling them where they can go and who they can see. Quit with the nonsense comparisons.


Again making light or lessening the significance of controlling behavior because its being done to a man.


Standards, make yours a double.

 

[CaptainSensible]

Asking someone is not the same as compelling someone...

"Dan, can you pick up milk in the shop for me?"

'Stop trying to control me"

It must be like living with Kevin and Perry in your gaff

To be honest I'd say there is more behind it than that, especially if it happens on more than one occasion.

In a normal relationship I doubt anyone would ask someone not to go to the pub with their friends unless they had something else on she wished to do together or there was another valid reason.

I get the sense from some blokes I've met that when she asks them not to go out it is not quite as innocent as you make out, the inference is they will cop a shitload of grief after the event if they do venture out, if this becomes a regular occurrence I guess they eventually decide it is not worth the hassle and that's why they don't head out, there are no other words for this than coercive control albeit it is a more subtle way of doing it than compelling someone to do something.

 

[Gregory_Mike]

I had a similar experience with a early girlfriend. She had me convinced that I was going mad and all the while she was manipulating me , sleeping all around her, cutting me off from my old friends and all the while telling me I was just paranoid. I thought I loved her so she sorta had me half convinced.
All from a woman who was half my size who I could crush like an aunt.
It took me years to trust anyone again.

Women can be just as big manipulators as men and cause just as much psychological damage. I look back now and can hardly believe the mess she had me in.

Hope all wasn’t lost and at least she was a wizard in the sack!