Your Mental Health

[Matlock]

Yourselfirst

^Beware of websites like the one above which offer "free" online personality/autism/ADHD tests and charge you to see the results, if you do so they will have your card details and automatically sign you up for a monthly subscription which will be a pain in the ass to cancel. It's a hidden subscription scam.

The trick is to get you to waste five minutes of your time answering multiple choice questions in the hope that having done so you will pay the nominal fee of €1.99 to get the ensuing "report" sent to you.

I know it's hard to believe anyone could be so dumb as to fall for this scam but such fools are out there.

My niece ended up signing up to one of those bullshit things to see the results of her IQ test.

Which was, as her father pointed out, a fair indication of her IQ ;-)

(in her defence, she's only young!)

 

[Clairecarebear]

Can your friend still comfortably read?
If so, I can recommend some reading that might help him understand what has happened to him and his 2 children. Maybe material that might be too heavy and too late.. The family law system is just outdated, designed to deal with traditional deserted housewife in the 70s with most of its modus operandi derived out of the women’s lib movement. Some men are decent at least, many are great Dads and almost all of those get crushed

He can. In fact he makes a point of reading and doing sudoku to try keep his mind active. If nothing it may give him focus and hope. If you have any suggested material please do pass it on thank you.
He understands fully. That is largely the crux of his mental trauma. He can understand what, but not why in terms of he is a man who lived in a very logical way. Professionally he managed projects based on fact and outcome. He lectured people on how to use information to make decisions.
Now he is left with what he feels (as do I and others) is irrefutable evidence of what actually went on/is going on, however it is being ignored.
He was diagnosed with PTSD "secondary to the ongoing difficulties of his ex wife and the energy in dealing with ongoing slings and arrows being directed by a very vitriolic legal team".
That was from an eminent clinical psychologist, yet the judge said "these people are only buddies to who pays them".
One would hope the new in camera rule would assist in stopping this type of sweeping nonsense and the grandstanding from (some) solicitors and judges with no concrete info to back it.

 

[JimmyBarrySmurph]

I can appreciate your situation and his.
I helped a friend and colleague through this before. “Understanding Parental Alienation” by Karen Woodall is the book that became our bible as we pealed back the layers. It’s expensive as books go but worth it.
It’s great that he is a project manager. Make this his project. It’s a dark rabbit hole to go down so bearing in mind his PTSD Id recommend you hold his hand through it. It might be too much. Like my man he probably had/has no comprehension of how unwell his ex is and what she’s capable of. We did it chapter by chapter, topic by topic.

The book explains everything, the behaviours of everyone, why his wife does what she does, her solicitors tactics and behaviour. I think it also explains why he would have ended up in that situation which is very important too. Most of all it will give him an in depth understanding of why his children maybe no longer see or even talk to him and will give him huge hope for the future.
Aligned it with a good therapist.
I think Mrs Woodall was due to bring out a new book in recent years but I don’t know if that happened.

 

[Clairecarebear]

I can appreciate your situation and his.
I helped a friend and colleague through this before. “Understanding Parental Alienation” by Karen Woodall is the book that became our bible as we pealed back the layers. It’s expensive as books go but worth it.
It’s great that he is a project manager. Make this his project. It’s a dark rabbit hole to go down so bearing in mind his PTSD Id recommend you hold his hand through it. It might be too much. Like my man he probably had/has no comprehension of how unwell his ex is and what she’s capable of. We did it chapter by chapter, topic by topic.

The book explains everything, the behaviours of everyone, why his wife does what she does, her solicitors tactics and behaviour. I think it also explains why he would have ended up in that situation which is very important too. Most of all it will give him an in depth understanding of why his children maybe no longer see or even talk to him and will give him huge hope for the future.
Aligned it with a good therapist.
I think Mrs Woodall was due to bring out a new book in recent years but I don’t know if that happened.

Thank you Jimmy. That is a great book. I actually gave it to him about 6 years ago.
He was in therapy. Not with me because that wouldn't work, but with someone I put him in touch with. He found it helpful enough but not massively so. He said he finds just chatting and feeling heard by friends a godsend.
Like men in general, his support structure wasn't really there because you know "best not get involved".
He lost a lot of friends that were couples they knew. He found it hard that the guys wouldn't tell him what was happening, whet they were hearing etc. That affected his mental health as well because he is a very loyal person.

 

[JimmyBarrySmurph]

Thank you Jimmy. That is a great book. I actually gave it to him about 6 years ago.
He was in therapy. Not with me because that wouldn't work, but with someone I put him in touch with. He found it helpful enough but not massively so. He said he finds just chatting and feeling heard by friends a godsend.
Like men in general, his support structure wasn't really there because you know "best not get involved".
He lost a lot of friends that were couples they knew. He found it hard that the guys wouldn't tell him what was happening, whet they were hearing etc. That affected his mental health as well because he is a very loyal person.

Lots of loss and mourning for the poor man. He sounds trauma bound. A Terrible system

 

[Nollaig O Muracu]

Yourselfirst

^Beware of websites like the one above which offer "free" online personality/autism/ADHD tests and charge you to see the results, if you do so they will have your card details and automatically sign you up for a monthly subscription which will be a pain in the ass to cancel. It's a hidden subscription scam.

The trick is to get you to waste five minutes of your time answering multiple choice questions in the hope that having done so you will pay the nominal fee of €1.99 to get the ensuing "report" sent to you.

I know it's hard to believe anyone could be so dumb as to fall for this scam but such fools are out there.

Used to be the same thing with IQ tests back in the day (yeah, not as serious).

I scored everything from 150 to 260 on dem, but nevar toke dem seriosuly, if they were below 200.

 

[JimmyBarrySmurph]

I scored everything from 150 to 260 on dem, but nevar toke dem seriosuly, if they were below 200.

Based on this sentence alone I can confirm that your IQ is very clearly 260 Nollaig.

 

[Nollaig O Muracu]

Based on this sentence alone I can confirm that your IQ is very clearly 260 Nollaig.

Thank you Kimmy, it's hard being me.

 

[Clairecarebear]

Lots of loss and mourning for the poor man. He sounds trauma bound. A Terrible system

Thank you Jimmy

 

[Ghoti]

Wasn't feeling right for a long time. Been diagnosed with a chronic onanism fixation.