Worst thing about Aging?

[Orchard thief]

People who disrespect older folks grind my gears.
Sometimes its not just a matter of giving someone your time but also your attention and respect also.

That’s very true.
Few weeks ago I was leaving site when I saw this elderly gentleman talking to the site foreman waving me down as I passed.

I was very close to pretending I didn’t see him as I was thinking to myself he’s going to want some stupid small job done and I was already running late.

Turns out my father served his time with this man as an apprentice in the early 70’s.

Walked around a few houses with him showing him the newer systems etc. He was fascinated and full of questions. He’d a good few stories himself. Very interesting.

Met my father a few days after it and told him the story.

“Is that old bollocks still alive?” he goes.

Not a sentiment bone in his body

 

[The High King]

Agreed 100%.

I lost my dad when I was 23. I would still give anything to have one more cup of coffee with him. He never got to meet my husband or my kids, which breaks my heart.

That said, my mother is still hale and hearty at 84 and I get to spend a lot of time with her so I am blessed in that regard.

I was 24 but still pretty immature and wrapped up in my own shit. It's probably my biggest regret that I didn't spend time as an adult with him and it's terrible that he missed his grandkids because he would have absolutely loved them.

 

[The High King]

a few years ago my aunt who had dementia was put into a nursing home by her two sons, Some people were not happy
with the fact she was put into a home but the reality was both sons lived a fair distance from her, both have jobs which see them travel around the country,
Both felt for peace of mind and safety she would be better off in a place where she can be watched and looked after,
One size doesnt fit all, some families can keep a parent in the family home and work a rota to keep an eye on them, others have not got that
choice,

I couldn't do that to my mother tbphwy. At the moment my brother lives close so all is well but if anything happened to him I'd have to move her close to where I live.
We've all only got 2 parents and they looked after our every need when we were incapable of doing it ourselves. It's the least we can do if at all possible to return the favour.

 

[jimmym]

I couldn't do that to my mother tbphwy. At the moment my brother lives close so all is well but if anything happened to him I'd have to move her close to where I live.
We've all only got 2 parents and they looked after our every need when we were incapable of doing it ourselves. It's the least we can do if at all possible to return the favour.

Yes many go as far as they can and realise between work commitments etc it just isnt possible, You would often hear
of families where one sibling does all the heavy work and others do nothing,

 

[The High King]

Yes many go as far as they can and realise between work commitments etc it just isnt possible, You would often hear
of families where one sibling does all the heavy work and others do nothing,

It depends on the situation.
Shes 80 but still reasonably healthy. She is living 2 hours away from me but next door to my brother who isn't married so once he's alive all is well.

If something happened to him I'd sell her house and move her down to within 5/10 minutes of myself. I wouldn't move her into my home because that wouldn't work out for either of us tbphwy. Once she didn't need constant medical care we'd find a way.

 

[jeepers]

Yep, am in roughly the same situation as you jeeps. Will move heaven and earth for them to remain at home, but you just don't know.

A stroke, a dementia diagnosis etc and you might not be able to give them that care.

That's exactly it. Herself sees that sort of thing all the time in her work so has me thinking about it a lot. Advice for everyone on this, there's a new system now for assisted decision making and making provisions for the various circumstances. I'll see if I can get a link from my wife about it, but it's well worth your while finding out about it.

 

[Browser Brody]

Yes many go as far as they can and realise between work commitments etc it just isnt possible, You would often hear
of families where one sibling does all the heavy work and others do nothing,

if a member of the family is not married or doesnt have kids or lives close they seem to get landed with the majority of the responsibility. Not saying it’s not necessarily a bad thing but that seems to be the way it goes..

 

[The High King]

My own dad got a little bit

if a member of the family is not married or doesnt have kids or lives close they seem to get landed with the majority of the responsibility. Not saying it’s not necessarily a bad thing but that seems to be the way it goes..

How else would you do it?
In my case my mother has no desire to come live near us. She's happy where she is, my brother is happy to have her because he has nobody else.

She probably wouldn't be chuffed about moving if anything happened to the brother but it would be the only feasible solution that would keep a reasonably able old lady out of a home.

Some kids have no interest in looking after their parents even if the care required is only to pop in once a day and check if they are ok.
It's easier to stick them in a home and forget about them.

 

[noah]

Awful what happened in so many homes across the country when covid first broke out. Sitting ducks.

 

[Donald Trump]

That's exactly it. Herself sees that sort of thing all the time in her work so has me thinking about it a lot. Advice for everyone on this, there's a new system now for assisted decision making and making provisions for the various circumstances. I'll see if I can get a link from my wife about it, but it's well worth your while finding out about it.

Thanks Jeeps, know a little bit about that alright.