Thngs supposedly said on RTE radio/television

[Annie Hall]

The Weakest Link, BBC1/BBC2
Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.

Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant: Bombay.

Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Contestant: Crocodiles.
Robinson: Wh...?
Contestant (interrupting): Pass!

Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels -- traveling
entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.

Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written
by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?

National Lottery Jet Set, BBC1
Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the
initials G.B.S.?
Contestant: William Shakespeare.
(Try George Bernard Shaw you FOOL)

Chris Searle Show, BBC Radio Bristol
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear
that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er... Mexico?

Family Fortunes, ITV
Les Dennis: Name something sold by gypsies.
Contestant: Bananas.

The Afternoon Programme Quiz, ABC 774
Presenter: Who killed Cock Robin?
Contestant: Oh God, I didn't even know he was dead.

Lincs FM phone-in
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.

Steve Wright Show, Radio 2
Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
Contestant: India.

Wright: The leader of the orchestra plays which musical instrument?
Contestant: The baton.

Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
Contestant: Expresso.

Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
Contestant: Sydney.

Wright: What was the animal referred to in Val Doonican's song Paddy
McGinty's...??
Contestant: I don't know.
Wright: It begins with a "G".
Contestant: Cow.

This Morning, ITV
Judy Finnegan: The American TV show The Sopranos is about opera true or false?
Contestant: Er -- true.
Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show, so I'll give you that.

BBC Radio Newcastle
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

Bob Hope Birthday Quiz, LBC
Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
Contestant: Four.

BBC GMR, Phil Wood Show
Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er...
Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
Contestant: Walked?

Daryl's Drivetime, Virgin Radio
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.

Allegedly real answers given to Larry Gogan on the Just a Minute Quiz
on 2FM:
1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword
2) A Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon
3) Name the Capital of France? F
(Capital not Capitol you moron)
4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell
5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar
6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital
7) What is Hitlers first name ? Heil
8) A famous Scotsman? Jock
9) Some famous brothers ? Bonnie and Clyde.
10) A dangerous race ? The Arabs
11) Something that floats in a bath ? Water
12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? A horse
13) Something you wear on a beach ? A deckchair
14) A famous Royal ? Mail
15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle with
wings

 

[raZor]

This Morning, ITV
Judy Finnegan: The American TV show The Sopranos is about opera true or false?
Contestant: Er -- true.
Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show, so I'll give you that.

That's brilliant!

 

[Aphex]

"He's pulling him off. The Spanish manager is pulling his Captain off!"
George Hamilton as Butreguanio comes off against Ireland.

 

[mirps]

"He's pulling him off. The Spanish manager is pulling his Captain off!"
George Hamilton as Butreguanio comes off against Ireland.

Remember another George Hamilton one, something like "It's just wide, but, it didn't matter anyway because the front post was covered with Seaman all over it".

 

[Loftydog]

The Weakest Link, BBC1/BBC2
Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.

Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant: Bombay.

Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Contestant: Crocodiles.
Robinson: Wh...?
Contestant (interrupting): Pass!

Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels -- traveling
entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.

Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written
by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?

National Lottery Jet Set, BBC1
Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the
initials G.B.S.?
Contestant: William Shakespeare.
(Try George Bernard Shaw you FOOL)

Chris Searle Show, BBC Radio Bristol
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear
that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er... Mexico?

Family Fortunes, ITV
Les Dennis: Name something sold by gypsies.
Contestant: Bananas.

The Afternoon Programme Quiz, ABC 774
Presenter: Who killed Cock Robin?
Contestant: Oh God, I didn't even know he was dead.

Lincs FM phone-in
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.

Steve Wright Show, Radio 2
Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
Contestant: India.

Wright: The leader of the orchestra plays which musical instrument?
Contestant: The baton.

Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
Contestant: Expresso.

Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
Contestant: Sydney.

Wright: What was the animal referred to in Val Doonican's song Paddy
McGinty's...??
Contestant: I don't know.
Wright: It begins with a "G".
Contestant: Cow.

This Morning, ITV
Judy Finnegan: The American TV show The Sopranos is about opera true or false?
Contestant: Er -- true.
Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show, so I'll give you that.

BBC Radio Newcastle
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

Bob Hope Birthday Quiz, LBC
Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
Contestant: Four.

BBC GMR, Phil Wood Show
Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er...
Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
Contestant: Walked?

Daryl's Drivetime, Virgin Radio
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.

Allegedly real answers given to Larry Gogan on the Just a Minute Quiz
on 2FM:
1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword
2) A Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon
3) Name the Capital of France? F
(Capital not Capitol you moron)
4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell
5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar
6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital
7) What is Hitlers first name ? Heil
8) A famous Scotsman? Jock
9) Some famous brothers ? Bonnie and Clyde.
10) A dangerous race ? The Arabs
11) Something that floats in a bath ? Water
12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? A horse
13) Something you wear on a beach ? A deckchair
14) A famous Royal ? Mail
15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle with
wings

Thats brilliant!

 

[Annie Hall]

I've just remembered another one attributed to good oul Uncle Gaybo. Apparently, either on his radio show or the 'Late Late', he was phoning the winner of a recent competition to tell them they'd won a brand new car. As far as I can remember, the conversation went something like this:

Gaybo: "Hello? can I speak to Betty Boo, please?"
Woman: "Eh...I'm afraid not. Who's this?"
Gaybo: "This is Gay Byrne here. Who am I speaking to?"
Woman: "This is Betty Boo's mother."
Gaybo: "I'm ringing to tell your daughter that she could be the winner of a brand new Ford Cortina. She just has to answer one simple question but I need to speak to her in person."
Woman: "Well she's not here."
Gaybo: "And where, may I ask, is she?"
Woman: "She's...Eh...She's dead, Gay..."

Urban legend?

 

[Loftydog]

By the way i used that real answers thing on my bebo page annie...

 

[Annie Hall]

By the way i used that real answers thing on my bebo page annie...

Fair play to ya, lad. No doubt all of those questions and answers will be doing the rounds in the pub fairly lively!

 

[Loftydog]

Fair play to ya, lad. No doubt all of those questions and answers will be doing the rounds in the pub fairly lively!

I have no doubt!

 

[supersonic06]

I've just remembered another one attributed to good oul Uncle Gaybo. Apparently, either on his radio show or the 'Late Late', he was phoning the winner of a recent competition to tell them they'd won a brand new car. As far as I can remember, the conversation went something like this:

Gaybo: "Hello? can I speak to Betty Boo, please?"
Woman: "Eh...I'm afraid not. Who's this?"
Gaybo: "This is Gay Byrne here. Who am I speaking to?"
Woman: "This is Betty Boo's mother."
Gaybo: "I'm ringing to tell your daughter that she could be the winner of a brand new Ford Cortina. She just has to answer one simple question but I need to speak to her in person."
Woman: "Well she's not here."
Gaybo: "And where, may I ask, is she?"
Woman: "She's...Eh...She's dead, Gay..."

Urban legend?

I remember that, not the name but a womans daughter had died, it was for a holiday if I remember correctly, Gaybo handled it like a pro, the woman got the answer right and good old Gaybo said 'I hope we are after putting a small smile on your face' Fairly sad to hear