Thngs supposedly said on RTE radio/television

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]These are apparently thing which have been said on Irish television / radio.[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A man has been found dead stuffed into a briefcase floating on the Grand canal-Gardai are treating it as suspicious!!! [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]--------------RTE Radio 1 News July 2001[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"When I said they'd scored two goals, of course I meant they'd scored one." à RTE Commentator George Hamilton [/FONT]
  • [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Deep down I'm a very shallow person." -------- Charles Haughey.[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"A top level Garda internal inquiry is being held in Connemara into an allegation that a local garda shot a cow .... There has been no statement from the cow." ------- Irish press.[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Larry Gogan: "Complete this well known phrase. 'As happy as.....'hint think of me." Contestant: "A pig in shite."[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Gerry Ryan: (during a discussion on whether people would like to be buried or cremated when they die) - "Would you like to be buried or cremated?" Caller: "Oh, buried Gerry." Gerry Ryan: "And where would you like to be buried?" Caller: "Up to me balls in Bibi Baskin!" [/FONT]
  • [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Larry Gogan: (after a caller got none of 18 questions right on the Just a Minute quiz) - "Ah sure the questions didn't really suit you did they?" Caller: "Ah go fu*k off Larry you're only an old bollox."[/FONT]
http://www.redbrick.dcu.ie/~domall/jokes.htm


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"And now more comedy on RTÉ 1, with Friends"

Said by Deirdre McAndrew after Ireland were whipped in d'soccer by some country or other.
 
If that's offside I'm a Chinaman....George Hamilton

There's been a few famous ones from the Larry Gogan just a minute quiz.
 
" I love your show, I listen to it every night " caller to late night show on RTE radio many years ago, on it's first night on air !
 
Anyone remember the Wazzie on Quicksilver? It was a live broadcast from the old Savy in Cork (most were recorded programmes). A contestant was asked by Bunny Carr, "Now what do you call a male bee?". Quick as lighting, the contestant replied, "A Wazzie".
 
Does anyone remember Pat the Plank on the Late Late interviewing a family in the audience after the tsunami? Their mother was still missing in the ensuing chaos and they were clearly very subdued. Pat, sombre head on him, then says: "And I suppose at this stage there really isn't...Eh...well...any hope I suppose..." The reactions on the faces of the poor family members!! Pat, you really are some tool.
 
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