Jokes thread......

After a long Voyage
Michael the sailor docked at New York after a frustrating three-month voyage.

Unfortunately, he'd lost most of his pay playing poker on board ship, so when he eventually found a lady of the night all he could offer her was 50¢ and a pair of sneakers.

She refused with disdain.

He wandered around in search of a more accommodating girl, but was refused time and time again.

Eventually he found a more sympathetic lady who told him that although she could not possibly accept his offer herself, he could always try Mabel down the road.

But she warned him not to expect too much as Mabel was very unresponsive and would probably just lie there passively.

He found Mable and as times were hard she reluctantly agreed to accept the 50¢ and the pair of sneakers for her services, but told him not to expect any kind of response from her.

Michael began the amorous act and after a few minutes was please to find an arm coming around his back. This was followed shortly after by a leg curling around his rear.

Michael, who had always fancied himself a bit of a Romeo, gasped, "I knew you wouldn't be able to resist my charms."

"Don't worry about me, love," answered Mabel, "I'm just trying on the sneakers."
 
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be the boss.

The brain said, "Since I control everything and do all the thinking, I should be the boss."

The feet said, "Since I carry man where he wants to go and get him in position to do what the brain wants then I should be the boss."

The hands said, "Since I must do all the work and earn all the money to keep the rest of you going, I should be the boss."

And so it went with the eyes, the heart, the lungs, and all the other parts of the body each giving the reason why they should be the boss.

Finally, the arsehole spoke up and said it was going to be the boss.

All the other parts laughed and laughed at the idea of the arsehole being the boss. The arsehole got so angry that he blocked himself off and refused to function.

Soon the brain was feverish and could barely think, the feet felt like lead weights and was almost too weak to drag the body anywhere, the eyes grew bleary, and the hands hung useless at the sides. All pleaded with the brain to let the arsehole be declared the boss.

And so it happened; all the other parts did all the work and the arsehole just bossed and passed out a lot of crap.

Proving that you don't have to be a brain to be a boss (or a party chief), just an arsehole.
 
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be the boss.

The brain said, "Since I control everything and do all the thinking, I should be the boss."

The feet said, "Since I carry man where he wants to go and get him in position to do what the brain wants then I should be the boss."

The hands said, "Since I must do all the work and earn all the money to keep the rest of you going, I should be the boss."

And so it went with the eyes, the heart, the lungs, and all the other parts of the body each giving the reason why they should be the boss.

Finally, the arsehole spoke up and said it was going to be the boss.

All the other parts laughed and laughed at the idea of the arsehole being the boss. The arsehole got so angry that he blocked himself off and refused to function.

Soon the brain was feverish and could barely think, the feet felt like lead weights and was almost too weak to drag the body anywhere, the eyes grew bleary, and the hands hung useless at the sides. All pleaded with the brain to let the arsehole be declared the boss.

And so it happened; all the other parts did all the work and the arsehole just bossed and passed out a lot of crap.

Proving that you don't have to be a brain to be a boss (or a party chief), just an arsehole.
This has to be the most boomery boomer joke ive ever heard in my life
 

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