Chat up lines

[Heraldo]

“Are you a parking ticket?”



















“Because I couldn’t be bothered to pay for you”

 

[sigourney's knickers]

You're a great fecking friend

I'm a good friend.

A friend helps you move house.

A good friend helps you move a body.

 

[Crankycorner]

‘Wanna come over to my house later? I have no furniture so you’ll have to sit on my face’*

* This never worked for me.

 

[fed up]

Thank god i found you
You've been suffering from amnesia since the accident, let's go home now.

 

[sigourney's knickers]

Non intentional chat up line.

Woman from QA was late one morning. Car trouble. Toyota Starlet. Got the bus.

What happened?

'Well' , she said, in a room full of men....

'I pulled on the handbrake and it came off in my hand'.


Piped up... Ehhh... You may not want to tell that on a date.

 

[sigourney's knickers]

Cause for reflection.

Spoon Girl.

If anyone remembers the RTC, 1990's in the smoking Atrium, there was a pit.

Pitted below the Kompooter labs.

One day, a crash was heard, some dope planted the spoon cutlery all over the floor while purchasing a sandwich. Looked up and observed.

'sorry like, sorry'. Workers asked her to fuck off, politely. Clear up commenced. Re-washing was needed.

I did note her. Homely lass, quite the looker.


Later in the day I was heading out of the library, Upper mezzanine.. There she was. Spoon Girl.

In the space of a few seconds I was weighing up what to do and decided to go in for the kill.


Soft tone.

'I know what you like'

Recoiled, a little bit aghast so I clarified.

'Got a flat on a fifth floor and a kitchen full of tea spoons. You can fuck them all out the window. Fancy it?'

Broke her hole laughing. Done deal.
.

Chat up lines are scenario based. Make the most of it.

 

[Warm Leatherette]

Do you sleep on your stomach

if not do you mind if i do

 

[sigourney's knickers]

AlI... De cage is open but the beasts asleep.

 

[sigourney's knickers]

Cool music though.

 

[sigourney's knickers]

Social Media, Internet dating etc - Chatup lines ARE OVER.

No no no. There's always room for face to face humour.