Nigeria.....ugh....

[Dr. Aaoouh]

I'm going to have armed protection whereever I go.

But how do I know if the armed protection is not Boko Harem or just criminal scum looking for kidnapping material.

2 underlings in other departments suddenly got sick this week and can't travel.

One was getting dizzy all of a sudden and the other fella has no yellow fever vaccination.

He realised that just after the flights were confirmed.

I didn't drink in the last 2 weeks but I reckon that business class journey will be pretty wet.

You couldn't go to Nigeria sober.

If your guards are Boko, then they are Muslims. If they are Muslims, then they are going to be circumcised. So demand a peek.

As for whether they are kidnappers, if they ask you for the email addresses of your five closest friends, that would probably be a bad sign.

 

[king of the BONGO]

that's brightened up my weekend immensely. bravo, admin!

 

[an liathroid beag]

Let this be a lesson. Armed protection can't keep you safe from admin

hope he will fare better in Nigeria!

 

[BoggyRoad]

Might do me a favour when you get there will ya... I got an email from some bloke saying he had shit loads of money to deposit into my bank. I just want someone to see it he's legit!

 

[jeepers]

Priceless.

 

[Hurricane Sterling]

I dont think you will get killed in nigeria being a white guy. Hope this helps.

 

[spikeaddict]

black pudding is very popular out there

 

[thegillabbeygowl]

black pudding is very popular out there

Racist.

 

[Freddie Freeloader]

Yerra it's not half as bad as people make it out to be but there are rules to follow.

Do not go out after dark without an armed escort is golden - you will be kidnapped.

Do not go any significant distance north of Abuja and do not go to Port Harcourt - you will be kidnapped.

If you're going on a business visa have a printed copy of the invitation letter (from the Nigerian business) with you. It's not required but it does give dodgy immigration police a chance to shake you down on arrival. Ditto for the yellow fever vacination book, though I've not been asked for it, I'm told that those found not to have verification that they've had the jab will have the jab given to them there and then!

 

[Freddie Freeloader]