A childhood friend of mine died last year. Just dropped dead. I went to the wake in his mother's house and the whole way in the hall I was driving my fingernails into my palms. I knew that I didn't have it in me to be able to keep it together once I saw him laid out.
Turned into the back room and, mercifully, it was a closed coffin with his photo on the top. One of his older brothers came over to me - in my eyes, this fella was the king of cool when we were growing up. He thanked me for coming along and then said;
"Do you remember how much Ger loved
Top Gun when ye were kids and he'd always be borrowing my video?"
"Ah yeah. I do." I could feel myself welling up.
"I'm just...." the Norrie king of cool's voice started to wobble "fuck it.... I had tickets booked for the two of us, just me and him, to go to
Top Gun: Maverick with him the night after he died. He never got to see it."
Now the two of us are fucking openly bawling. The king looks desolate. I decide that the only thing to do is to make a joke.
"C'mere to me... I hope you're burying him in his Washington Redskins Starter jacket and Garth Brooks t-shirt".
The two of us started sniggering.
"He had shit taste" says the king. Then his other brother pipes up.
"Thanks to everyone for coming to see Ger off. We'd like to play Ger's song now and then we'll say goodnight." and he point to one of Ger's amassed nephews who is holding a phone connected to some speakers. The theme tune to what I think is
Game Of Thrones started blaring out of the speakers. I stifle a chuckle.
"Not that one! That's for tomorrow! The other one - yeh fuckin' eejit" roars Ger's eldest brother. Song cuts off and then Garth Brooks'
The Thunder Rolls starts up.
I shot a look at the king of cool who's smirking back at me. He flashes the devil horns - \m/
\m/ and I suddenly have to run through the house and out to the front garden when I begin convulsively laughing and shrieking my head off. I can't stop. There are a few stragglers coming down the steps into the house looking at me and then wondering if they've got the right place. There's people after arriving out in the hall and now staring at me too.
I didn't give a fuck.
