Jokes thread......

[gaffer falls]

Blonde sitting in plane next to her pilot boyfriend:" OMG OMG he has passed out, what will I do"
ATC: don't worry we will get you down, tell me your height and position
Blonde:I am 5'4'' and I am sitting in the right hand seat
Long pause...
ATC:Grab that wheel thing in front and repeat after me...Our Father who art in heaven..

 

[Great-Bit-O-Stuff]

 

[Great-Bit-O-Stuff]

 

[Lee Bushwacker]

A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.
Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man..
The first woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?'
The man said 'No', so she gave him a hug and walked on.
The second woman said 'Have you ever had a kiss?'
The man said 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on.
The third really beautiful woman who was Scottish came up to him and said,
'Have you ever been f**ked?' The fellow said 'No.'
She smiled and said, 'You will be when the tide comes in.'

So old at this stage!

 

[Great-Bit-O-Stuff]

So old at this stage!

Where are your jokes Lee? Are you admin of this jokes thread by any chance

 

[Rebel CNC]

So old at this stage!

Think I first heard that back in first year of secondary school and I'm an old git!

 

[Great-Bit-O-Stuff]

Think I first heard that back in first year of secondary school and I'm an old git!

And where are your jokes?

 

[Handy Run]

So old at this stage!

 

[PussyinBoots]

So old at this stage!

What's your one being Scottish have anything to do with it lol

 

[PussyinBoots]

Probably posted here already but one of my favourite jokes:

Young lady strolling around town of a fine afternoon. She walks past a pet shop and she notices a sign on the window which states "Fanny licking frog. 10 euro"
So she walks into the pet shop and remarks to the man behind the counter "Hello, I'm interested in the fanny licking frog, can I see him please?"
"Bonjour!"