Roy Keane rant-fiction

[POL]

Bantorious

 

[delzer]

And a free rattled flb, brilliant.

Bonus

 

[The Curious Lozenge]

lol only a truly sad twat like bluffy couldn't muster a lol for this thread.

 

[KD Langer]

Thread of the year.

Nailed on.

 

[CORKBHOY]

Thread of the year.

Nailed on.

Repped. It's got so much scope and potential.

I'm currently working on a scene where Roy meets Gordon Ramsey. Fucking loving it, pal.

 

[KD Langer]

Repped. It's got so much scope and potential.

I'm currently working on a scene where Roy meets Gordon Ramsey. Fucking loving it, pal.

Aye.

It's like admin said a while back. These threads are better when posters go with the humour of them rather than against. (referring to the rogby thread)

 

[Sillyrabbit]

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

I still had the 2-0 defeat to Blackpool in the back of my mind. That cunt Holloway tried to shake my hand afterwards, acting like the Big I Am. I gave him the Crusher. He won't be able to pull himself off for weeks, unless he goes lefty.

The wanker.

And now here was this clown, stuttering at me. He was from Poland or Holland or something. It doesn't matter. If I had signed for Munich when they were in for me, I would have made the fucking effort to learn the language. German would have suited me I think.

"Many people like", he says to me. What's the Hollish for "You're shitting your fucking pants, you cunt", I thought to myself.

Out loud.

Does this cunt think I'm "many fucking people"? When I was at Forest we had this foreign trainee who used to do keepy uppys before training. A real fancy Dan. I waited until he got to 100 and I fucking clattered him. He never saw it coming. "If you're on the pitch you're fair game". That's what I said to him. He retired at 17. Didn't have the stomach for it.

No loss.

Would "many fucking people" do that? And here was this clown, in front of my family, telling me that "many people like".

Where I come from, if you try and put pineapple on a pizza, they glue it back together and shove it up your hole. Backwards.

I ordered the steak.

Raw.

We're going back next week after the Huddersfield game.

 

[doppellanger]

I've seen it all, for I am Roy Keane
Risen from the dead, old man with wrinkled beard,
Can see at the violet hour, the evening fucking hour
Because I do not hope to turn again,
Because I do not hope to tackle,
Because I do not hope,
Desiring Giggsy's gifts and Cantona's scope,
(Why should the agèd eagle stretch its wings?)
Why should I fucking mourn
The vanished power of United's reign?
(and I Roy Keane have foresuffered all
have seen it all already), seen it fucking all
And it was noth'n' to be afraid of.





with apologies to T.S. Eliot






nah, fuck that, I'm not apologising to no dead fucking poet, apology withdrawn. What do poets know about football anyway? I was at UCC collecting my doctorate and Brendan Kennelly said to me "reckon Ireland have a good chance of qualifying?"

"You pretentious twat", I thought

etc. etc.

 

[Sillyrabbit]

I've seen it all, for I am Roy Keane
Risen from the dead, old man with wrinkled beard,
Can see at the violet hour, the evening fucking hour
Because I do not hope to turn again,
Because I do not hope to tackle,
Because I do not hope,
Desiring Giggsy's gifts and Cantona's scope,
(Why should the agèd eagle stretch its wings?)
Why should I fucking mourn
The vanished power of United's reign?
(and I Roy Keane have foresuffered all
have seen it all already), seen it fucking all
And it was noth'n' to be afraid of.





with apologies to T.S. Eliot






nah, fuck that, I'm not apologising to no dead fucking poet, apology withdrawn. What do poets know about football anyway? I was at UCC collecting my doctorate and Brendan Kennelly said to me "reckon Ireland have a good chance of qualifying?"

"You pretentious twat", I thought

etc. etc.

My God.

The best post ever on the INTERNET right here on the local talkpage scene.

 

[CORKBHOY]

Jesus! It's all happening here. Unbelievable.