Jokes thread......

I asked my GP if there was anything better than over the counter hemorrhoids stuff as I was trying to avoid the time off work for surgery.
She suggested using teabags as a cold compress as the tea shrinks them and soothes some of the pain.
I decided to try it, but I only ever use loose leaf tea, but the principle’s the same, so I scooped the leaves out of the cold pot and used a wad of kitchen towel to hold them in place.
A couple of week’s later and I’m back at the GP.
She gets me to drop my trousers and lie on the couch on one side. I hear her draw up her chair, the lights dimmed slightly and she said. “Well, your hemorrhoids aren’t getting any better, but you are going on a journey. You will meet a tall dark handsome stranger.....”
 
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Paddy Irishman and Paddy Welsh man are in a pub......
The joke is usually on Paddy Irishman but the lads look at one another and say, where is Paddy English man.

Still at the world Cup says the barman.
 
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