'am a tad suspicious' part 2

[BangorFeen]

I like to think so anyway

 

[odyssey]

I've seen one or two heart-breaking instances where a genuinely gay girl has had her heart broken by this sort of shite. It's all fine messing around and exploring your sexuality when both parties are in the same boat, but when one is playing for keeps...

see this is exactly what i said to yerman....that a lot of lesbians just don't like bisexuals...because of the reason above...where they've had experiences of getting with someone who later returned back to straight-land, leaving them heartbroken...or worse still....they got with someone who was in a relationship with a bloke, and had no intention of leaving it, looking just for a bit of a dabble in the shallow water..but they themselves fell in to far..

now, this is the general feeling, somewhat ungrounded, given the very lovely bisexuals out there....its more the game-playing ones that are the issue...

 

[wingnut]

me personally i couldnt handle the whole threesome thing, if my b/f ever suggested it i'd prob splice him from neck to navel and then fuck off out of the relationship for as was said above if you need a third party to spice up your sex life theres something seriously missing.

I think this attitude is indicative of an insecure relationship. A couple who really connect with each other should feel free to at least discus such matters, and then reach a conclusion. It is quite possible to be fully committed to someone and be fully satisfied by them and sexually experiment as a couple.

It all depends on how much emotional emphasis you place on the physical act of sex. Some people feel you can't separate the two and that's fair enough. But don't be too quick to condemn a couple who look at it in a different way. It takes a very strong relationship to experiment in such a way and that's why many relationships end subsequent to such an experience. Couples that can do this and stay together have a very strong bond.

They key is communication. Many people will at least have fantasised about a threesome or moresome. To be able to discuss this is another significant step. Once the couple are sure they are both doing it for the right reasons then why not? The right reasons in this case are to try new experiences as a couple. The couples trusting each other enough to know that it is for mutual enjoyment and not simply to 'sleep around'.

Very few girls have NEVER fantasised about being with another woman. The difference is while some will repress such thoughts others are prepared to give them consideration.

 

[BangorFeen]

see this is exactly what i said to yerman....that a lot of lesbians just don't like bisexuals...because of the reason above...where they've had experiences of getting with someone who later returned back to straight-land, leaving them heartbroken...or worse still....they got with someone who was in a relationship with a bloke, and had no intention of leaving it, looking just for a bit of a dabble in the shallow water..but they themselves fell in to far..

now, this is the general feeling, somewhat ungrounded, given the very lovely bisexuals out there....its more the game-playing ones that are the issue...

Like I said, when everyone is aware and ok with the ground rules then game on. Very few people, straight, gay or bissexual on this planet intentionally set out to break people's heart's (and as for the ones who do, in the words of S. Africanus, may their holes fester). The problem is that's often the result when bisexuals and gays enter a relationship together. Like yourself, I'm generalising and consequently recognise the basic weakness of my argument so to speak

 

[odyssey]

I think this attitude is indicative of an insecure relationship. A couple who really connect with each other should feel free to at least discus such matters, and then reach a conclusion. It is quite possible to be fully committed to someone and be fully satisfied by them and sexually experiment as a couple.

It all depends on how much emotional emphasis you place on the physical act of sex. Some people feel you can't separate the two and that's fair enough. But don't be too quick to condemn a couple who look at it in a different way. It takes a very strong relationship to experiment in such a way and that's why many relationships end subsequent to such an experience. Couples that can do this and stay together have a very strong bond.

They key is communication. Many people will at least have fantasised about a threesome or moresome. To be able to discuss this is another significant step. Once the couple are sure they are both doing it for the right reasons then why not? The right reasons in this case are to try new experiences as a couple. The couples trusting each other enough to know that it is for mutual enjoyment and not simply to 'sleep around'.

Very few girls have NEVER fantasised about being with another woman. The difference is while some will repress such thoughts others are prepared to give them consideration.

those are very valid points, and that's what i mean....plenty of people are secure enough to do it....but those who aren't, it screws it up...

a lot of people i know who've had threesomes, have done so towards the end of a relationship...when the fun in the sex is kinda gone, and they're both looking to go elsewhere...
i'm not saying that's always the case, but it can be a reason behind it..

see, i always make very clear from the start that i am not into threesomes, so when someone does suggest it, it's blatant they've not taken my feelings into consideration....therefore dumpville...

 

[wingnut]

Odyssey, I admire your attitute to it. Too many people are quick to condemn. I wish more people could hold the attitute that "well it might not be for me, but I can accept other people are interested in it". Instead people are ready to pass all sorts of judgements on a couple because they are open to experimentation. I agree with you again Odyseey that every relationship is different. I don't think people have the right to make broad sweeping statements based on their own realationship(s).

I am with my girlfriend 6 years and started 'experimenting' at the start of the third year of our relationship. We are still as committed as ever and very much in love, and can't get enogh of each other physically and emotionally. We don't do it very often (partly because it is so hard to find like minded individuals!). We don't need to "look elsewhere" and could give it up if we wanted to and neither of us would be put out. We will continue to do it as long as we both enjoy it.

 

[smiles]

I think this attitude is indicative of an insecure relationship. A couple who really connect with each other should feel free to at least discus such matters, and then reach a conclusion. It is quite possible to be fully committed to someone and be fully satisfied by them and sexually experiment as a couple.

It all depends on how much emotional emphasis you place on the physical act of sex. Some people feel you can't separate the two and that's fair enough. But don't be too quick to condemn a couple who look at it in a different way. It takes a very strong relationship to experiment in such a way and that's why many relationships end subsequent to such an experience. Couples that can do this and stay together have a very strong bond.

They key is communication. Many people will at least have fantasised about a threesome or moresome. To be able to discuss this is another significant step. Once the couple are sure they are both doing it for the right reasons then why not? The right reasons in this case are to try new experiences as a couple. The couples trusting each other enough to know that it is for mutual enjoyment and not simply to 'sleep around'.

Very few girls have NEVER fantasised about being with another woman. The difference is while some will repress such thoughts others are prepared to give them consideration.

i think i taken up the wrong way in what i said, my point of veiw is from my personal experience, from whom i've spoken to, seen destroy their relationships etc. if some couples can do it fair enough but i really dont see how it can be productive to an overall monogomous relationship. if it can be done, great, but in my experience i have yet to see it.

and every woman has fantasised about another woman, though most would never admitt it, but thats the thing, there fantasies, they very rarely are acted upon.