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Thngs supposedly said on RTE radio/television
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<blockquote data-quote="Annie Hall" data-source="post: 1673533" data-attributes="member: 10450"><p>The Weakest Link, BBC1/BBC2 </p><p>Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet? </p><p>Contestant: Jool carriageway. </p><p></p><p>Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius? </p><p>Contestant: Bombay. </p><p></p><p>Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes? </p><p>Contestant: Crocodiles. </p><p>Robinson: Wh...? </p><p>Contestant (interrupting): Pass! </p><p></p><p>Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels -- traveling </p><p>entertainers or chocolate salesmen? </p><p>Contestant: Chocolate salesmen. </p><p></p><p>Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written </p><p>by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...? </p><p>Contestant: (long pause) Joe? </p><p></p><p>National Lottery Jet Set, BBC1 </p><p>Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the </p><p>initials G.B.S.? </p><p>Contestant: William Shakespeare. </p><p>(Try George Bernard Shaw you FOOL)</p><p></p><p>Chris Searle Show, BBC Radio Bristol </p><p>Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna? </p><p>Caller: Japan. </p><p>Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear </p><p>that, I can let you try again. </p><p>Caller: Er... Mexico? </p><p></p><p>Family Fortunes, ITV </p><p>Les Dennis: Name something sold by gypsies. </p><p>Contestant: Bananas. </p><p></p><p>The Afternoon Programme Quiz, ABC 774 </p><p>Presenter: Who killed Cock Robin? </p><p>Contestant: Oh God, I didn't even know he was dead. </p><p></p><p>Lincs FM phone-in </p><p>Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world? </p><p>Contestant: Barcelona. </p><p>Presenter: I was really after the name of a country. </p><p>Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain. </p><p></p><p>Steve Wright Show, Radio 2 </p><p>Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube? </p><p>Contestant: India. </p><p></p><p>Wright: The leader of the orchestra plays which musical instrument? </p><p>Contestant: The baton. </p><p></p><p>Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway? </p><p>Contestant: Expresso. </p><p></p><p>Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney. </p><p>Contestant: Sydney. </p><p></p><p>Wright: What was the animal referred to in Val Doonican's song Paddy </p><p>McGinty's...?? </p><p>Contestant: I don't know. </p><p>Wright: It begins with a "G". </p><p>Contestant: Cow. </p><p></p><p>This Morning, ITV </p><p>Judy Finnegan: The American TV show The Sopranos is about opera true or false? </p><p>Contestant: Er -- true. </p><p>Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show, so I'll give you that. </p><p></p><p>BBC Radio Newcastle </p><p>Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last? </p><p>Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days. </p><p></p><p>Bob Hope Birthday Quiz, LBC </p><p>Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons? </p><p>Contestant: Four. </p><p></p><p>BBC GMR, Phil Wood Show </p><p>Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible? </p><p>Contestant: Er... </p><p>Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor... </p><p>Contestant: Blimey? </p><p>Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run... </p><p>Contestant: (Silence) </p><p>Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I... </p><p>Contestant: Walked? </p><p></p><p>Daryl's Drivetime, Virgin Radio </p><p>Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels? </p><p>Contestant: Holland? </p><p>Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet. </p><p>Contestant: Iceland? Ireland? </p><p>Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel? </p><p>Contestant: No. </p><p></p><p>Allegedly real answers given to Larry Gogan on the Just a Minute Quiz </p><p>on 2FM: </p><p>1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword </p><p>2) A Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon </p><p>3) Name the Capital of France? F </p><p>(Capital not Capitol you moron)</p><p>4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell </p><p>5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar </p><p>6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital </p><p>7) What is Hitlers first name ? Heil </p><p>8) A famous Scotsman? Jock </p><p>9) Some famous brothers ? Bonnie and Clyde. </p><p>10) A dangerous race ? The Arabs </p><p>11) Something that floats in a bath ? Water </p><p>12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? A horse </p><p>13) Something you wear on a beach ? A deckchair </p><p>14) A famous Royal ? Mail </p><p>15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle with </p><p>wings</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Annie Hall, post: 1673533, member: 10450"] The Weakest Link, BBC1/BBC2 Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet? Contestant: Jool carriageway. Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius? Contestant: Bombay. Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes? Contestant: Crocodiles. Robinson: Wh...? Contestant (interrupting): Pass! Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels -- traveling entertainers or chocolate salesmen? Contestant: Chocolate salesmen. Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...? Contestant: (long pause) Joe? National Lottery Jet Set, BBC1 Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.? Contestant: William Shakespeare. (Try George Bernard Shaw you FOOL) Chris Searle Show, BBC Radio Bristol Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna? Caller: Japan. Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again. Caller: Er... Mexico? Family Fortunes, ITV Les Dennis: Name something sold by gypsies. Contestant: Bananas. The Afternoon Programme Quiz, ABC 774 Presenter: Who killed Cock Robin? Contestant: Oh God, I didn't even know he was dead. Lincs FM phone-in Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world? Contestant: Barcelona. Presenter: I was really after the name of a country. Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain. Steve Wright Show, Radio 2 Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube? Contestant: India. Wright: The leader of the orchestra plays which musical instrument? Contestant: The baton. Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway? Contestant: Expresso. Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney. Contestant: Sydney. Wright: What was the animal referred to in Val Doonican's song Paddy McGinty's...?? Contestant: I don't know. Wright: It begins with a "G". Contestant: Cow. This Morning, ITV Judy Finnegan: The American TV show The Sopranos is about opera true or false? Contestant: Er -- true. Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show, so I'll give you that. BBC Radio Newcastle Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last? Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days. Bob Hope Birthday Quiz, LBC Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons? Contestant: Four. BBC GMR, Phil Wood Show Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible? Contestant: Er... Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor... Contestant: Blimey? Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run... Contestant: (Silence) Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I... Contestant: Walked? Daryl's Drivetime, Virgin Radio Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels? Contestant: Holland? Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet. Contestant: Iceland? Ireland? Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel? Contestant: No. Allegedly real answers given to Larry Gogan on the Just a Minute Quiz on 2FM: 1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword 2) A Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon 3) Name the Capital of France? F (Capital not Capitol you moron) 4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell 5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar 6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital 7) What is Hitlers first name ? Heil 8) A famous Scotsman? Jock 9) Some famous brothers ? Bonnie and Clyde. 10) A dangerous race ? The Arabs 11) Something that floats in a bath ? Water 12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? A horse 13) Something you wear on a beach ? A deckchair 14) A famous Royal ? Mail 15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle with wings [/QUOTE]
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