Prince Andrew..

Met the man in Iraq once. Was doing one of his visits to the troops, the type of scene you see in the press surrounded by laughing troops as if he just popped in while he was passing by. Totally staged, total fuck-about. We're meant to be on rest after night ops.

So there we all are, standing around waiting, as you do, senior officers watching the junior officers. Sergeant majors watching the men, making sure everyone says the right thing and Andrew fucks off thinking we are the bullocks.

After talking to our Company Commander he talks to us in a casual, all men together kind of way. Questions about the tour, how we are getting on etc, etc. He comes to one Corporal who had the sleeping habits of a bat. "So Cpl X, what do the lads do when they are not out on patrol or duty? " The man from the Bogside replied " Oh just get dragged out of bed to meet people like you" The silence was only matched by the size of open mouths on the officers who had visions of postings to Alaska after this one.

Auld Andy stopped for a second, stared and said "that's just the kind of reply I expected from an Irish man"while swinging his fist in an uppercut motion.Cue relieved career laughs all around.

Houseplants (Paul Noonan & Daithí)
Cyprus Avenue, Caroline St.

22nd Dec 2022 @ 7:00 pm
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Sleeping Beauty

Cork Opera House, Today @ 2pm

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