Cause for reflection.
Young Tang. My little adoptive Chinese young brother.
Got to know him as he was implanted in an embryo project by Shanghai. We were to develop a dead reckoning system for their bus fleet as GPS was useless given the mountains around made it difficult to grab an accurate location. Bus stop arrival times.
Geo driving was ok but not accurate enough so, dead reckoning it was to give them accuracy within the 20 meters they wanted.
In came Tang. Planted in the Dublin office. I was back n forth to Shanghai with him. Met his overlords and scrubbed the scum off myself twice a day from fumes and the filth of the buses while attaching dynamos to the wheels. Then, onto the buses 16 hours a day to test the software through RS232 cabling. I was empty wretching evertime I got off a bus. The food, the heat, the fumes were all conspiring against my colon.
Tang, took pity on me and invited me to his parents gaff for fish and rice one evening. His Mother made me a solidifier from apple juice. The sweating stopped. The gates were closed. I was so grateful!
Anyway, through translation his mother made me swear to look out for him and make sure he sends money home. What could I say, so I took the 18 year old under my wing.
In Dublin he was getting on fine. One day he came to work and announced with a huge grin on his face that he had... A burrifur gurfrwend. Ah, that's great Tang, when do we all meet her? Oh no,caaaannn not meet. Why? She... aww rivs in Rors Angerreh.
Oh, OK. Have you met her, at least? No. I hend hew gyfts.
Whooh whoow whooh... You what?!? Now these were the early days of photoshop phishing... y'know, pouty face, good looking, large chest, skimpy clothes... basically not her or even a her.
Not wanting to burst his bubble in front of everyone else and concerned that his family ain't receiving moola via Western Union, I took him aside and said, 'how about you don't send anymore gyfts until she sends you one?' Then you'll know if she is truly your gurfrwend. '
OK, I do that. Since you say, Pauw, I do that.
A few weeks passed. She was constantly texting him for clothes and money and I stopped him. Dragged his ass down to a money transfer agent and I shoved two grand in his account to send to his mother as he was broke from the leech. Off it went and was received after I oversaw it.
Then, he got mail. A package. From his ruvery Antina. I want to show you. Pauw, I open it here.
In the office? In front of everyone? He ripped it open and revealed a large white mug with his face on it. I felt so sorry for him. Everyone was silently laughing their ass off.
'Pauw' he asked. Wur does dis mean?
Ohhh ffs. Tang,... Let's go grab a tea and have a chat.
Oh, OK, I bring my cup.
Leave that fucking thing behind will ya?!?!?
