Retired West Cork Couple Try Acid For First Time

Elderly couple Pascal and Margaret O’Mullane from Drinagh in west Cork have decided to give acid a go for the first time.

The husband and wife team, both retired civil servants in their eighties, took acid last Saturday afternoon in the presence of their son.  

“We discussed it with Theo when he came home from Thailand for Christmas,” said Margaret and he put us in touch with a local shaman here in west Cork called Spark Plug who advised us on quantity and quality.

The pair who have been struggling with the cost of living chose to do so to “take the edge off life”.

“I couldn’t believe how our worries about energy bills evaporated when we were gee-eyed,” said Pascal, “my only regret is that we didn’t think of doing this earlier in our lives. I would have loved to have been off my face when I taught boring geography lessons to children in secondary school”.

The couple’s fears about the cost of living have substantially reduced.

“We were spending a small fortune on trips up and down to Cork City for medical appointments, but now that our minds have been opened the only trip we’ll be going on from now is to outer space every weekend”. 

Government back benchers have been calling for free acid to be distributed to constituents who are giving them a hard time about rising prices.