The confession thread.

[jimmym]

You were always destined to be a Shinner

I sent two lads up to burn it out before the guards got there.

 

[Orchard thief]

I was stripping out a gaff in bishopstown one day. There was 5 massive fuckers of old rads upstairs. 100kg plus each.

Was out by the van when a few travellers pulled up looking for scrap. Told them they could have the big rads upstairs if they lifted them out themselves.

Took them about an hour to get them down and into the back of their wagon. They were sweating buckets.

They thought they were on a good thing with a half tonne of scrap metal.

I didn’t have the heart to tell them they were actually storage heaters full of heavy but worthless bricks.

 

[Chara021]

Sorry I should have phrased it better but, if as you state, it was the 1st and last thing you've ever stolen then imo you have led an exemplary life, at least in this regard. Wish I could say the same for myself.

Oh right Ya I honestly never did anything like that since. I still think about it and feel Geez can't believe I did that.

 

[Chara021]

There's a statue before you come to Kennedy's Park with a little donation box.
Our lady provided me with my first box of Pall Mall cigarettes from it's contents at just 12 years of age.

Feck it ,you have reminded me. It's all coming back to me now As much as I never stole anything from a shop again , as kids we did slog apples and were alway getting coins outta the phone boxes. Never vandalised them but sometimes the coins got jammed and I always managed to get all the backed up coins out of it.

 

[Crankycorner]

I once made Roy Keane storm off.
I met him at a match and went up to chat to him. A very close buddy knows him so I thought bringing him up would be a good start. It was.

I then plucked up the courage to ask him for a photo. He obliged. That’s where it went downhill.

I was a bit star struck and completely panicked. I said ‘don’t smile (he wasn’t anyway!) because it’ll wind up my Dad and he doesn’t like you’. Like how was that in any way relevant. His response came quick.

‘Oh your Dad doesn’t like me and he’s never even met me. He sounds like a bit of a bollox to be honest’ and he walked away.

Talk about making a complete ejit of yourself in front of your hero.

 

[Matlock]

I once made Roy Keane storm off.
I met him at a match and went up to chat to him. A very close buddy knows him so I thought bringing him up would be a good start. It was.

I then plucked up the courage to ask him for a photo. He obliged. That’s where it went downhill.

I was a bit star struck and completely panicked. I said ‘don’t smile (he wasn’t anyway!) because it’ll wind up my Dad and he doesn’t like you’. Like how was that in any way relevant. His response came quick.

‘Oh your Dad doesn’t like me and he’s never even met me. He sounds like a bit of a bollox to be honest’ and he walked away.

Talk about making a complete ejit of yourself in front of your hero.

I'm sorry but that's hilarious!

A buddy of my brother's was obsessed with JBM. They were at a GAA thing that he was at and my brother convinced him to go and say hello to JBM, reckoning that by all accounts he was a gent and that his buddy would be delighted afterwards to have met him.

Anyway, they lined up the meet him and when they got to an opportune moment to engage yer man was speechless so my brother said "Hello Mr Barry Murphy, this is my friend XXXX he's a massive fan and he'd love a photo".

"No bother" says JBM and gets in for a photo. Just as the photo was being taken yer man (still shaking!) blurts out "Jesus. I've pictures of you on my wall biy" ;-) ;-)

JBM just smiled awkwardly, slapped him on the back and walked away. Probably to get a restraining order...

 

[JimmyBarrySmurph]

While on holidays in my Aunts farm in Ballydehob i killed their drake with a lucky shot from a sling shot. My cousin who was with me grabs a shovel and i got the drake and we buried him in a nearby field. The fox got the blame.

Blood Brothers

 

[Crankycorner]

I'm sorry but that's hilarious!

A buddy of my brother's was obsessed with JBM. They were at a GAA thing that he was at and my brother convinced him to go and say hello to JBM, reckoning that by all accounts he was a gent and that his buddy would be delighted afterwards to have met him.

Anyway, they lined up the meet him and when they got to an opportune moment to engage yer man was speechless so my brother said "Hello Mr Barry Murphy, this is my friend XXXX he's a massive fan and he'd love a photo".

"No bother" says JBM and gets in for a photo. Just as the photo was being taken yer man (still shaking!) blurts out "Jesus. I've pictures of you on my wall biy" ;-) ;-)

JBM just smiled awkwardly, slapped him on the back and walked away. Probably to get a restraining order...

My father nearly disowned me from the family and my brother couldn’t stop laughing when I told them.

We really don’t know how hard famous people have it dealing with morons like myself.

 

[Crankycorner]

Looked very happy didn’t he…

 

[sigourney's knickers]

Three sisters.

Well.... They talked... Then tore me limb from limb.