Valentines Day Poem

13th Feb 2010

We love you so, dear River Lee, we've had so many laughs
But there was no need to rise so high that you came directly into our gafs,

You were like a lover who had too much to drink, and decided loudly to proclaim,
Your love for us outside our doors, without concern or without shame,

And with no response you took liberty and came in the front door and all,
Without a knock you strolled right in and sauntered up the hall,

Silently you made your way, into the kitchen and front room,
Despite the lock upon the door, a welcome you did assume,

Those expensive carpets, wooden floors and sofas all posh and swanky,
In a few short hours with little effort you made them all quite manky.

Soaked yourself into the cushions, skirting boards and floors,
Destroyed television sets and took hinges off of doors,

Now Corkonians love their river and that in song we have proclaimed,
But firmly behind those lovely banks, we would have preferred if you remained,

Instead of filling up the streets and forcing businesses to close,
Wrecking kitchens and furniture, destroying crockery and clothes.

Those who sandbagged thought they were grand, but then up our drains you sprang,
And left behind a retch inducing, overwhelming bang,

The pictures told a thousand words, and they showed loads of them on telly,
Even though the public knew the stench was bad, they'd no idea just how smelly,

Your odour, dear Lee, was something fierce, to our Cork noses it seemed so wrong,
If you rise up again do us a favour and at least tone down the repulsive pong.

Don't worry dear friend we won't do a runner, like your namesake, that Dub George Lee,
He coped out at the first sign of trouble, and went running back to RTE.

His year's leave-of-absence was running out, so he got into a panic,
Back in Donnybrook there's plenty pay and the work load's far from manic.

We know the love is reciprocated but every relationship has to have a border,
After coming on so strong with your love for us, we're taking out a restraining order,

With powerful plaudits and so many songs, our love for our river we did portray,
But on that faithful November night, our undying love you did betray,

But like a soulmate or next of kin, your name still fills us all with pride,
Just remember that when you act the langer, it hurts us all inside,

So dear River Lee, your waterways, they really are divine,
And as long as you stay within your banks you'll always be Cork's Valentine.