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Roy Keane rant-fiction
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<blockquote data-quote="The Curious Lozenge" data-source="post: 5277283" data-attributes="member: 24317"><p>I went in on the beans hard. they were covering half the fucking plate like. the big legume. look at me, I'm a vegetable, I'm good for you. no you're not you cunt, you're covered in fucking tomato ketchup and sugar. and you leave your fucking mess all over the sausages and rashers. I may mix you later, but I want that to be my choice. I moved onto the sausage next. it was crinkly and limp looking. no spine. I fucking knived it half and swallowed it in two bites. the scrambled egg was a similar case. sloppy, not properly mixing with the butter. where's the urgency? fuck the egg, I spooned it out and fucked it on the ground. I had bigger fish to fry. I took two rashers at the same time. why the fuck not? never could understand these single rasher eating idiots. you have two inches on your fork. use them. every inch counts. I finished the black pudding by spreading the fucker on toast. gave me extra time to sort out that tomatoe hiding in the corner. I see you, you cunt. what am I, a fruit or a vegetable. I had no time for shoegazing food. you were on the plate to do a job, that's all you need to know you red twat. every victory is vital. roy? ya Theresa? go to work will you ffs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="The Curious Lozenge, post: 5277283, member: 24317"] I went in on the beans hard. they were covering half the fucking plate like. the big legume. look at me, I'm a vegetable, I'm good for you. no you're not you cunt, you're covered in fucking tomato ketchup and sugar. and you leave your fucking mess all over the sausages and rashers. I may mix you later, but I want that to be my choice. I moved onto the sausage next. it was crinkly and limp looking. no spine. I fucking knived it half and swallowed it in two bites. the scrambled egg was a similar case. sloppy, not properly mixing with the butter. where's the urgency? fuck the egg, I spooned it out and fucked it on the ground. I had bigger fish to fry. I took two rashers at the same time. why the fuck not? never could understand these single rasher eating idiots. you have two inches on your fork. use them. every inch counts. I finished the black pudding by spreading the fucker on toast. gave me extra time to sort out that tomatoe hiding in the corner. I see you, you cunt. what am I, a fruit or a vegetable. I had no time for shoegazing food. you were on the plate to do a job, that's all you need to know you red twat. every victory is vital. roy? ya Theresa? go to work will you ffs. [/QUOTE]
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