Misery Guts Unpacks SHARE Sticker He’s Been Using For 20 Years
Middle aged miser Derek McSlimhoop from Montenotte is delighted with himself this morning having carefully unpacked the same SHARE sticker he has been using since 1998 and sticking it on his coat before heading into Cork city centre to do some Christmas shopping.
The annual fundraiser brings in hundreds of thousands of euro for the elderly each year and is run by secondary school student volunteers who stand out in the cold for hours on end shaking collection boxes. Volunteers wear easily identifiable bibs and politely ask shoppers without the charity’s stickers to ‘support SHARE please’.
“I used to hate when you go into town and realise your sticker is on your other coat”, said McSlimhoop,”so I vowed to never lose the one I got after I gave some young fella 10p in ’98.”
McSlimhoop also claims that he was the first to come up with the retort “No I won’t support SHARE ‘cos I support Liverpool” to a teenage SHARE collector in 1996 and he is currently in a high court dispute with another man over the copyright of a “hilarious response” to SHARE collectors’ appeals for a donation that he uses every year.
Another unidentified Cork man says he was the first to respond with “Sure I’ve already bought most of Cher’s albums” but McSlimhoop believes he first said it after the release of “It’s a Man’s World” by the American singer in 1995.
A nil-all borefest between two mid-table hoof merchants or a nail biting, do-or-die grudge match between arch-rivals vying for a top half finish?
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