Misery Guts Unpacks SHARE Sticker He’s Been Using For 20 Years

Posted on Dec 19, 2017 in News

 
 


 

Middle aged miser Derek McSlimhoop from Montenotte is delighted with himself this morning having carefully unpacked the same SHARE sticker he has been using since 1998 and sticking it on his coat before heading into Cork city centre to do some Christmas shopping.

The annual fundraiser brings in hundreds of thousands of euro for the elderly each year and is run by secondary school student volunteers who stand out in the cold for hours on end shaking collection boxes. Volunteers wear easily identifiable bibs and politely ask shoppers without the charity’s stickers to ‘support SHARE please’.

“I used to hate when you go into town and realise your sticker is on your other coat”, said McSlimhoop,”so I vowed to never lose the one I got after I gave some young fella 10p in ’98.”
McSlimhoop also claims that he was the first to come up with the retort “No I won’t support SHARE ‘cos I support Liverpool” to a teenage SHARE collector in 1996 and he is currently in a high court dispute with another man over the copyright of a “hilarious response” to SHARE collectors’ appeals for a donation that he uses every year.

Another unidentified Cork man says he was the first to respond with “Sure I’ve already bought most of Cher’s albums” but McSlimhoop believes he first said it after the release of “It’s a Man’s World” by the American singer in 1995.

 
PROC Guide to Builder’s Bluff

PROC Guide to Builder’s Bluff

The building boom is back. Are you a hospital consultant thinking of getting into attic conversions or the CEO of a Fortune 500 company that fancies a career in roofing? Then know how proper langers treat their customers....

Read More

Awkward Crime Statistics

Awkward Crime Statistics

In Europe's friendliest city more than one bicycle is stolen every..eh....several days. That's a whopping 0.05% of the population. Be careful out there....

Read More

Who else needs a Dinny funt?

Who else needs a Dinny funt?

An 83 year old man foiled a three-man raid in Glanmire last Saturday evening and in the process delivered a beautiful kick up the arse to one of the humiliated raiders. Who else needs a Dinny Funt?

Read More

Ten Starting Points for a Buskers Code

Ten Starting Points for a Buskers Code

A buskers’ code agreed between buskers, traders and residents is well worth pursuing before wrapping ourselves up in legal knots and slapping low-income buskers with fines...

Read More

10 and a Half Reasons That Prove Bob Marley Lived in Cork

10 and a Half Reasons That Prove Bob Marley Lived in Cork

It has been rumoured for years that Bob Marley lived in Cork...and possibly still does. Only that can explain the manic devotion to the reggae superstar on Leeside...

Read More

 
 

Advertising