Israeli's Anti-Cork Bias

7th Dec 2009

Israel's Anti-Cork Bias

Martin tells Clinton about the length of the grass in the 2006 final

Foreign Affairs Minister and former Cork 'Haney boy, Michael Martin is being denied access to the Gaza Strip by Israel in a move which may be connected to the 2006 All Ireland final.

The Cork man wished to travel to the stricken Palestinian territory controlled by Israel but has been denied a visa. Mysterious circumstances surround the refusal to let Martin in.

A Tel Aviv based official said that no politicians were permitted to enter Gaza however several officials, including an Irish government delegation have accessed the area since the Israeli assault on Palestine in February.

European officials are confused as to how an Irish minister could be blankly refused entry but they may be unaware that Martin's actual nationality, as a Corkonian and not specifically Irish, may be the real reason for his exclusion as Israel becomes the latest region to adopt an anti-Cork bias.

Israel's security agency MOSAD, which is believed to have a base in Urlingford in Co. Kilkenny, were believed to be involved in the infamous 'long grass final' of 2006 in which Cork hurlers were confronted with uncut grass at Croke Park that hampered their game plan and subsequently . This was the beginning of Kilkenny's four-in-a-row which is forever stained by the tampering of lawnmowers at the stadium.

Israel's security forces have managed to keep allies as GAA presidents for the last number of years to ensure bias against Cork teams. Kilkenny's Nicky Brennan was in power when the lawnmowers remained silent and Kerryman Seán Kelly stepped into his shoes soon after to keep Cork teams in a constant tangle.

With a Rebel finally taking the helm as GAA president, Israel is now looking for ways to exercise its anti-Cork bias again and this diplomatic slight to Minister Martin is their latest dig at Leeside designed to maintain Israel as the world's most.

Other incidents with likely Israel/MOSAD involvement:

1. The closing of Matty Kiely's chipper on Maylor St.

2. Recent appearance of crater size potholes in Ballyphehane.

3. The closure of Sir Henrys

4. Roy Keane being sent home from Saipan

5. Frank & Walters not being mentioned in Hotpress when they were no.1 in the UK

6. The relocation of Michael Jackson to a house in Gordon's Hill in Mayfield

7. Attaching a powerful nano-sized sliotar magnet to Henry Shefflin's hurley in 2007

8. Keeping Setanta Ó hAilpín in Australia

9. The release of 500 tonnes of water per seoncd from Inniscarra dam in the middle of the night flooding Cork as a result.

10. The Long Grass final of 2006 when Kilkenny 'beat' Cork by three points.