Hard On Golf: Tourism in Ringasiddy

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Hard On Golf: Tourism in Ringasiddy

22nd Jan 2004

Pitch 'n' Putt in Ringaskiddy
Reporter: Mickey Sull

Last week some gowls in Dublin gave the go ahead to have their toxic waste sent to Ringaskiddy to be burned in yet another highly dangerous plant soon to be inflicted on the people of Ringaskiddy and surrounding areas like Cobh, Whitegate, Monkstown, Passage West and Carrigaline. Some feens have the paras* already and wouldn't go down there without chemical suits. Can life go ahead as normal with this new fashion faux-pas?


Still wearing their chemical suits after their trip to the beach JP decided to bring Wanda for a round of pitch 'n' putt at the Pfizer plant in Ringaskiddy.		John Paul choses between club and putter carefully: "Pass us the big bendy wan there love". Nice wan.


At 70 years of age John Paul credits Pfizers with providing a new lease of life: the 18 hole course and manufacturing all those viagra tablets...		Wanda buckles with fear as JP's withered body attempts to feck the ball down to the green. Making sure his suit doesn't leak is half the battle.


Bang! The couple assess another dangerous looking cloud of toxins being released from a nearby chemical plant. Lucky they've got the suits on.		Twelve shots later JP's on the green. Lets hope the Green Keeper won't get too agressive about those big hefty safety boots. We don't want no hassle like but if the feen gets cheeky we'll slap him wan.


Its difficult to keep your mind on the game when there's a threat to your personal safety. Imagine the poor langers who have to live down here feel!		"That's it fella. Into the hole you go". Wanda keeps her husband's mind on the job...Wahow biy! I'd say there'll be some puttin' later on back in the gaf!!

* elevated state of paranoia usually only experienced by people who visit Amsterdam for a smoke

LAMP DIS!
Check out some of the startling facts about this bizarre decision on CHASE's (Cork Alliance for A Safe Environment) website. Click here

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