Granda Started Taking These Pills Then This Happened

A Cork family are appealing for help after an elderly member of their family has succumb to trance music – an evil death cult probably based somewhere in Dublin. Leeside grandfather Finbarr Golden, 86, from Blackrock was recently prescribed Yokexilen for high blood pressure, the side effects of which are causing him to believe he’s enjoying trance music. 


“I don’t know what to do”, said daughter Imelda Golden, “since he started taking these pills his health is much better but he’s literally playing this horrendous music on my sons decks all day and night. We’re going insaaane.”

Manufacturers of the pills, Generic Global Pharma (GGP), have been accused of covering up side-effects of the drug and deny strong claims of links to the trance community. GGP’s managing director, Carl Oakenfold, was a trance DJ in the late nineties.