Get Paid To Bate The Shite Out Of Dublin Scobes: Garda Recruitment Soars in Cork

Applications for An Garda Síochana have soared in recent days on Leeside after last Thursday’s riots in Dublin city centre. 

Several buses and a LUAS carriage were burned out while dozens of shops were looted and damaged by rampaging, coked-up Dubliners.

Legislation to give Gardaí more freedom to kick the living bejaysus out of rioters is being currently rushed through the Dáil. The opportunity to baton charge a load of racist Dublin scobes and be paid to do so seems like the deal of the century to many young Corkonians who are queueing up to fill places.  

“I broke my telly with my hurley looking at the langers rioting up there,” said Scobey Hackett, 23, from Ballyvolane, “they said the Gardaí were looking for recruits, cmere, I tell’ya I can’t get up to Dublin fast enough to give dem feens the batin’ of their lives. I CAN’T WAIT!”. 

Clobber A Dub To Get Cash For the Pub: