Dana Had Orgasm in English Market

Posted on Oct 13, 2011 in News

 
 

 

Áras candidate Dana Rosemary Scandal shocked the Republic of Ireland last night by unexpectedly reading a prepared statement at the end of a television debate on Dublin state television. The softly spoken former Eurovision winner refuted “vile” allegations that she claimed would be published by newspapers in the coming days.

Refusing to elaborate on the nature or source of the allegations has resulted in speculation that the former MEP for the How Now Brown Cow Constituency had an orgasm while holding up a Peoples Republic of Cork t-shirt in the English Market during a recent campaign trip to Leeside.


Dana holds up a PROC t-shirt on Dublin television station RTE
which caused her to orgasm unexpectedly.


In an attempt to endear herself to the Cork public to whom she has little or no connection, Dana  was so overwhelmed by the instant publicity that she instantly climaxed. 

Any orgasm achieved in this way is classified as adultery under a strict interpretation of Catholic law to which the nordie subscribes.

Confession experts have confirmed that punishment for this crime can be severe with the convicted party being ordered to repeat the Hail Mary prayer up to five times before absolution and a lifetime of guilt and self hatred is granted. 

Sympathy for Dana's climax is strong on Leeside with many people surprised at her sudden guilt. 

"Anyone who comes to Cork for the first time has to expect to come in Cork as well", said Stella Kiely buying an unreasonable amount of bananas this morning in the market, "I would encourage Dana to come again and again. Im nearly over the edge meself here like holdin' these tings." 

 

 
Advert on a Pole in Cork

Advert on a Pole in Cork

Hungarian looking for work wants to get into the undertaking business with your dog and your baby....

Read More

Ferris Wheel Allows Cork People to Look at Cork

Ferris Wheel Allows Cork People to Look at Cork

The Ferris Wheel on Grand Parade is back for de crissmuss! What more could a Corkonian want other than going up on a high thing....to look at Cork.

Read More

Crissmuss Presents for Cork Smallies

Crissmuss Presents for Cork Smallies

We've a stack of NEW designs ready for Santy to collect to bring to your favourite Cork smallie...

Read More

10 Hours Walking Around Clon as a Woman

10 Hours Walking Around Clon as a Woman

Can a woman not walk the streets of towns like Clonakilty these days without being harassed.....about the weather?

Read More

Rosetta Probe Actually From Cork

Rosetta Probe Actually From Cork

European Space Agency probe Rosetta (Nee Dennehy) is originally from Bandon, Co. Cork has claimed a comet called 67P on behalf of the People's Republic.

Read More

 
 

Advertising