Dana Had Orgasm in English Market

Posted on Oct 13, 2011 in News

 
 

 

Áras candidate Dana Rosemary Scandal shocked the Republic of Ireland last night by unexpectedly reading a prepared statement at the end of a television debate on Dublin state television. The softly spoken former Eurovision winner refuted “vile” allegations that she claimed would be published by newspapers in the coming days.

Refusing to elaborate on the nature or source of the allegations has resulted in speculation that the former MEP for the How Now Brown Cow Constituency had an orgasm while holding up a Peoples Republic of Cork t-shirt in the English Market during a recent campaign trip to Leeside.


Dana holds up a PROC t-shirt on Dublin television station RTE
which caused her to orgasm unexpectedly.


In an attempt to endear herself to the Cork public to whom she has little or no connection, Dana  was so overwhelmed by the instant publicity that she instantly climaxed. 

Any orgasm achieved in this way is classified as adultery under a strict interpretation of Catholic law to which the nordie subscribes.

Confession experts have confirmed that punishment for this crime can be severe with the convicted party being ordered to repeat the Hail Mary prayer up to five times before absolution and a lifetime of guilt and self hatred is granted. 

Sympathy for Dana's climax is strong on Leeside with many people surprised at her sudden guilt. 

"Anyone who comes to Cork for the first time has to expect to come in Cork as well", said Stella Kiely buying an unreasonable amount of bananas this morning in the market, "I would encourage Dana to come again and again. Im nearly over the edge meself here like holdin' these tings." 

 

 
Lough Ducks on Marriage Equality Referendum

Lough Ducks on Marriage Equality Referendum

Cork's Lough Ducks discuss the Marriage Equality Referendum that will allow two Corkonians of any sex to marry each other....

Read More

Super Rena - Cork Hero

Super Rena - Cork Hero

Cork dual star Rena Buckley kicked a last minute point to win the National league for Cork on Saturday. After four league finals we've finally won one!

Read More

Win Tickets to Rubberbandits @ Everyman

Win Tickets to Rubberbandits @ Everyman

Win a pair of tickets to Rubberbandits - Continental Fistfight show at The Everyman on Saturday May 31st....

Read More

Who Would Want a Motorway to Limerick?

Who Would Want a Motorway to Limerick?

The Dublin government have blocked a proposed motorway from Limerick to Cork.

Read More

Ode to Anna Geary: Cork’s Camogie Captain Retires

Ode to Anna Geary: Cork’s Camogie Captain Retires

With over 20 All-Ireland medals to her name Cork captain Anna Geary announced her retirement last week. We had no option but to call in our resident poet....

Read More

 
 

Advertising