The Hurling G.O.W.L

6th Sep 2006

 

 

The Hurling G.O.W.L
Finbarr Barry

Grumpy Old Whinging Langers (GOWLS) are found all over the county propped up at the counter of dingy bars on a week night watching a dull scoreless Celtic matches and shouting various unfunny comments that often masquerade as racist abuse.

You'll find this miserable human being at random Junior A games talking about how bad hurling has got in the county and that most people involved in hurling are only in it for the money and the fame.

When they imagine senior players lifestyles they imagine the sun holidays they get to go on for winning All Ireland finals, the products endorsements, the supermarket openings and the autograph signings. There's no room for the relentless physical training players do, no space for the image of Donal ”g Cusack getting up at 6am to train for a few hours before he goes to work. No time for the cold miserable dark evenings in January that Cusack spends training Cloyne or tiring league outings to the north to play hopeless teams and risk pneumonia.

This week GOWLs are in their element - blooming like weeds in the summer rain after Cork's 3 point loss last Sunday. They're happier now that Cork aren't champions and proclaim that the entire squad, backroom team and county board should not just be sacked, but ought to be stripped of previous All-Ireland titles, fired from their day-jobs and their marriages annulled.

A hurling GOWL can be any age but more often than not they are failed Junior B players who are bitter that they were left on the sideline (because of a conspiracy of course) for the two years they trained once a week with their local club. Their ridiculous opinions on hurling always make good entertainment'