Delivery Driver Couldn't Be Arsed Checking If You’re Home

13th Feb 2017

Courier Jason ‘Smokey’ Lawlor from Ballyphehane has admitted he doesn’t bother getting out of the van to see if people are at home anymore when delivering packages. The 34 year old claims he's "grand with dropping stuff to businesses" but houses only “annoys the shit" out of him.

“Look, they’re probably at work so why should I have to get out of the van and haul some box of bullshit up to the door when I can just drop a note in the letterbox or just drive on t’fuck and leave it back at the depot for them to collect?”

“I may not seem the type but I’ve thought about this pretty deeply. Basically if these langers can afford to be buying shite on the internet then they can afford to take the morning off to drive five miles to the depot and queue up like cattle at a milking parlour. Why should I deliver it right to their door? They can fuck off and collect it from the depot. Lazy pricks.”

Jason’s dream job is to work for An Post.