Corkonian Sea Planned

14th Jun 2005

Corkonian Sea Planned
Comrade P. Murphy

I thought I'd better let ye know about Cork County Councils controversial plan before the news broke out and JCBs started hacking up Waterford. Apparently after their worthless performance from the Waterford senior hurling team against Cork, the ENTIRE county is to removed from the province of Munster and sent north into the non-hurling wilderness of Connacht and Ulster and to be attached on to the wind swept north west coast.

The endless coffers of the Peoples Republic of Cork have hired an expert Dutch firm to begin the land removal, and relocation process. A tug boat will be used to tow large sections of the county up to its new location.

The space created from the absence of Waterford will become known as "The Corkonian Sea" and will be used as a recreational site for the citizens of Cork. Look out for up-coming plans involving barbed wire, explosives and lots of washing up liquid for counties Kerry, Tipp and Limerick in the near future. Tickets for the Munster Final against Tipp down the Park go on sale this Monday June 20th.