Cork Summer Begins


Last Monday morning has been deemed the official end of winter by the People's Republic of Cork Is-There-Any-End-To-Winter Committee. Under strict criteria, for the miserable season to be over a majority of the following conditions must prevail:

(1) Be able to feel the genuine warmth of the sun on your face while a passer-by says something like "tiz nearly too warum isn't it?"

(2) Move short distances outdoors in light clothing without needing hospitalisation for frost bite or pneumonia.

Some feen in a t-shirt runs the pneumonia gaunlet


(3) Going for a bazzer without looking up Met Eireann's website to see if you'll get a cold out of it.

(4) Within the space of two minutes spot at least five people in t-shirts on Pana OR one person on North Main Street that isn't wearing a jacket.

(5) Your man with the street painting of the Titanic or Michael Jackson is set up outside Brown Thomas OR people are sitting on the grass in Bishop Lucy Park who are not drunk.


Two feens in t-shirts who were not admitted to hospital


For the first time in almost seven months at Monday lunchtime it was deemed that all of these conditions were met .

Ergo, the summer has begun. The job.