Community Service - Out The Straight Road

9th Jan 2003

Community Service
with Osama Bin Murphy

They say it's not what your county can do for you but what you can do for your county. Chalk it down feens. This is kind of stuff rebel philosophers have debated since the
beginning of time. We cannot all be great hurlers, footballers, athletes, poets or Taoisigh but we can all make a difference to tthe county in which we live.

  We also of course want folks to come to Cork from outside and make them feel welcome - sit down, have a gat and be talkin' with us like. With both these nobel thoughts in mind PRC agent Mickey The Roadblock took to the road to 'make a difference' and that he did.

   The first thing we needed to look at was how we welcome daoine eile to Cork City. Lamp the welcome sign presented to visitors when they reach the city via the Carrigrohane straight from the west!

What's that stuff all over the letters on it? Well PRC consulted with Professor Harry Nettle who specialises in Weed Studies at UCC who confirmed that samples we gave him were in fact a strain of regular garden moss called manky gank.	With the trip to UCC and the task at hand seeming so unexpectedly large it was decided to start early the next day as the sun had already bypassed Macroom on its way to America. So early next morning beating their chests for more reasons than one the PRC Community Service Brigade officially got it together.
By 9am the job had already been started. The passion and pace with which the elbow grease was whipped out was frightening. The moss was almost completely non-existent after 30 minutes of non-stop scrubbing.	Taking the unusual step of performing a dance routine somewhat akin to that of the New Zealand haka mixed with the Waltz of Limerick the work was assessed as the rain pelted down.
Job done. Disappointingly we had no 'JN loves AK' or 'Coeriud ort' (Dutch graffiti?) removal equipment but tizn't looking bad now all the same. Sometimes we all get carried away with our passion and pride in Cork but expressing that love is sometimes difficult to show physically.....	...now despite the 'suds' on the sign this is not what it seems. However we were thankful for the water proofs! Tired and weary yet strangely satisfied it was off to the pleasant surroundings of the Kingsley Hotel to relieve the bowels and create a distressing hygiene situation for the staff. Then down to Hillbillys for an early chicken supper.

 Please note that it is estimated from PRC research carried out at the site above that up to 50% of potential tourists u-turn on spotting the manky gank infested welcome sign. This was calculated by the number of non-'C' registration vehicles that u-turned around at the spot versus the total number of non-'C' reg vehicles.    Mickey will be seen regularly around Cork doing good works for the People's Republic Of Cork much of which we will document here so keep it Cork and stay in touch.