Are the County Board on Acid?

13th Nov 2007

Morgan Vs Muppets
Finbarr Barry

It's one of those headlines that makes passionate Cork fans fire their newspaper across the room. Another frustrating cycle of negative events that will inevitably see the newspaper hit the teapot which topples over scalding you and the mongrel at your feet. Out of fright the dog then relieves himself involuntarily at the fireplace and the cup of tea you were so looking forward to after a hard day at work is now lapping around the new carpet seeping through the floor boards.

Sorely missed: twas oft said King Billy could motivate the dead.

If you're browned off by the relentless headlines about the health service, then there's little respite on this week's sporting pages with more HSE-style bungling and baffling bureaucracy it looks like the Cork County Board are gone back to doing what they do best.

Unlike the health service, which is bottom of the league when held up against those of so many of our European cousins, when Cork GAA is compared to that of other counties we're top of the league in every sense. We've had more successes than anyone else and no county has gained more from it.

If, as the HSE love doing, an international independent commission was employed to assess the relative achievements of the county their report should be positive. Naturally, a few internal tweaks and twiddles of the setup would be recommended to oil the Cork GAA machine for future action - ensuring that counties purporting to be hot on our heels are left for dead.

Several years ago Cork football was in a far darker place than it is now. We were being bashed around by perennial lame ducks and "also-rans" like Roscommon and Limerick. Luckily the hurlers were leathering all round them so public heat, outside passionate football fans, was limited.

Arguably the most successful footballing Corkonian of all time, was meanwhile managing Nemo Rangers who were becoming permanent residents of the upper echelons of the All Ireland club football championships, claiming the prestigious title in 2003 and the envy of thousands of GAA clubs.

There was only one place for Nemo boss Billy Morgan to go and that was to take Larry Tompkins' place at the helm of the county's squad. It is generally accepted that the players were hugely behind his appointment to the extent that Morgan was seen as their demand rather than that of the County Board. It should be noted that at this time placards from the player's strike had barely been put away.

An unnamed county board official who fancies the job of bainisteoir

Fast forward to 2007 and the International Inquiry of County Board Antics and Shenanigans is looking at a long list of new achievements. Munster titles, All-Ireland semi-final appearances and just a few months ago a long desired berth in the All Ireland final. In short, Cork had been brought to within 70 minutes of outright, unarguable success.

Up until last week Billy Morgan had not ruled out renewing his contract to take the job of bainisteoir again next year to build on the runners-up spot he had worked so hard to achieve.

If this was any company chief-executive who had trebled the share price of his company in a few years he would have been asked by his shareholders what resources he needed to capitalise on his undeniable successes. Shareholders would have realised they had a sound and solid leader who needed to be held on to at any cost. Placated if necessary.

Now here comes the cringy bit. Instead of allowing the chief executive to pick his team the chairman of the company has decided that he is going to pick it for him. Not the players on the field but the people who decide which players get on the field. This is the exact opposite of what the chief executive wanted. Weird.

Realising he is being undermined and out manouvered for whatever bizarre soap opera and narnian internal power struggles go on at Pairc Ui Chaoimh Morgan has pressed eject. Possibly for his own sanity.

While the much lauded Ulster teams of the early part of this decade wilt and the chances of claiming Sam Maguire have become tantalisingly close, the man who has brought Cork football back to full health is now walking away. He's had enough and who could blame him. To different extents, we all have.

It should be a relief to every Cork fan that the players are considering going on strike. In the past they could do nothing except bend over and take every bizarre politicised confusing decision that came their way but at least they can do something now to try to end the flow of senseless and shameless nonsense imposed on those who make the real sacrifices - something those who are too old to have played in the modern era couldn't possibly appreciate.

If you flung a newspaper across a room, felt like punching a wall or wanted to roar obscenities out loud when you read why King Billy has thrown in the towel, you're not alone.

We thought we were over this rubbish years ago.