 |
The REAL Capital Misconception
A Discussion document from the People's Republic Of Cork Committee for Corkonian Sovereignty and Democratic Change
Despite the current and apparent ambiguity in Northern Ireland many lessons can be learned from the Peace Process and the Good Friday agreement that can be used to our advantage here in Cork. As we have seen since it was signed certain parties have cunningly developed their own "peace" strategies. In the past Republicans beat their chests and roared "Brits Out!" supporting mindless violence which achieved no political or social gains. It is now blatantly clear to many Republicans that the slowly-but-surely approach is producing some verifiable results: police reform, prisoner releases, and most importantly self-governance. Many republicans naively believed that their day would come if enough blood was shed. They once believed that if the bomb was big enough or killed enough people, whoever happened to be British Prime Minister at the time would announce that Britain was pulling out of Northern Ireland. That was never going to happen.
 |
|
Notion of independence is not to be taken lightly. |
To sum it up Irish republicans have in effect changed tactics. Like a team knowing an away draw will do because they know they will win the home leg. Irish republicans are at the corner flag with their foot on the ball frustrating the opposition. Time is ticking and the emerging demographic is now inevitable: Nationalists will soon outnumber Unionists.
We in Cork must follow suit, face up to reality and speed up something that is also inevitable. We think about it every day and dream about it every night yet it is still a taboo subject among Corkonians. Just say it out loud to yourself: "Freedom for Cork!" or "Éire 31!" (that'll have the local Celtic supporters well confused).
Why stick it out with the others: Corkonians are the most intelligent group of people in Ireland. If you don't believe it see this year's breakdown of leaving cert. results. If you're surprised then we are surprised at your surprise. We're Corkonians, of course we're the best. All that staggeringly high IQ born and bred in the Rebel County is being diluted with the dimmer average Irish national.
On a related note Cork was responsible for the Celtic Tiger. Dublin greed killed it. Now they want it back. Corkonian quick thinking, dynamism, business know-how, wit, charm and communication skills are being asked to move forward again to the frontline to shield the rest of Ireland from financial hardship. Are we going to keep on sending our staggeringly large PAYE contributions and corporation taxes north to the pale to balance the load to carry the burden of inferior counties?
Speaking of which, the centralisation of power around Dublin, be it actual or psychological is sickening. These days has never been greater. The Dubs can't see further than the Red Cow roundabout and as a result the dull and misty capital is running out of space, choking its reluctant citizens packing them tighter and tighter into its grimy grasp. You might be surprised to hear that we'd like to help them…by taking our citizens back. Every Sunday night and Monday morning tens of thousands of misfortunate young Corkonians must make the 172 mile journey to Rat Race Central on outrageously expensive trains or comically inept single carriage roads. Our exiled brothers and sisters must be reclaimed and the provision of a repatriation course with obligatory one-to-one counselling will ensure their mindsets and morals are correctly re-programmed to their original setting: "Cork".
 |
|
The task will not be easy |
Next lets focus on the astonishing demonstration of beauty that is becoming the new Pana. Look how well Cork used its measly share of state allocated coffers. Now consider the LUAS Light Rail project in Dublin: only about thirty years behind time and a few billion over budget. The Irish Minister for Transport has already declared that some sections of the project are "a mess" and a "huge mistake". Such waste. Give it to us and we'll knock out a public transport system so good you could get from Youghal to Castletownbere in twenty minutes. Then they go and build a tunnel to Dublin port that can't fit the trucks it was supposed to take off the roads. All that and the place looks as dirty and as unwelcoming as ever.
We are the biggest and best sporting county. Whether its football, hurling, soccer, rugby, athletics no county even comes close. Whether its squandering a last minute goal to an Eastern block soccer team or squandering economic success, the Republic of Ireland is a nation proud of its unforced errors, comfortable settling for second best. Cork does not follow the rule. We are determined and head strong. There are examples of this in practice every day: Michael Martin and his smoking ban, Michael O'Leary with his annoyingly low air fares or Roy Keane showing up the shambles that is the Football Association of Ireland. Integrity and determination - part and parcel of every Corkman and woman.
Gangland violence rages in a neighbouring county. Criminals walk free. Cork's Special Branch has spent most of the year in Limerick. In times of war neighbouring governments close their borders for fear of a conflict spilling over into their own territory. The People's Republic Of Cork Militia has in past set up roadblocks on several main roads into the county at high risk times particularly during the All-Ireland hurling championship when pike wielding GAA nutcases from Clare, Waterford and Wexford outraged at the humiliation of their team by the Rebels could have crossed into Cork and done serious damage to citizens or properties at any time. The PRC Militia turned many of these potential nut cases away at the border but resources are limited and very soon we will have no option but to turn to the state coffers by consent or by force to prevent the further retaliation for our greatness. Dear non-Corkonians, we can't help it - it just comes naturally.
What do rebels do? They rebel in rebellions. Unfortunately there's only so long you can be a rebel: Either your rebellion fails or it achieves its goal. We must as Corkonians take the final step (just be sure you look down in case there's a pothole). Cork has bowed to Dublin's whims and demands for too long. We have been servants too long. Soon we must become masters. Masters of our own destiny rather than having our greatness diluted in a nation run by Mickey Mouse and the Muppets.
Most would admit, we as Corkonians and especially here at PRC Headquarters are very modest and humble human beings. However we hold back too much and don't claim Cork's rightful place as King of The Counties often enough. When we're not being modest and humble we're simply being honest. Having supplied the fiercest resistance to colonial rule one can understand that some call Cork the 'REAL capital', but why demand the second best option? We should leave the straggling counties behind: go the full way and get complete sovereignty for Cork. Now that would be some Christmas present.
|
|
|
|
