Mayo Football Team Missing

26th Apr 2010

Mayo Football Team Missing

(National Football League Final: Cork 1-17 Mayo 0-12)

Despite the opportunity to play in Ireland's largest stadium, the aspiration of almost all GAA players and managers, Mayo's footballers failed to turn up at Croke Park for the 2010 National Football Final on Sunday afternoon.

The mysterious no-show is being investigated by the Mayo County Board although appeals for an independent investigation are getting louder as the committee have failed in the past to uncover the reasons for Mayo's other no-shows at Croker.

Investigators will focus on the last known movements of the Mayo football team to try establish their current location. It is believed grainy CCTV footage from the 1951 All-Ireland football final, the county's last significant sporting success, is being studied in a laboratory in Castlebar by scientists.

Although some individuals wearing green and red jerseys did actually run out on to the pitch on Sunday to apparently contest the final it is not believed that they had any knowledge of the game beforehand and this was clear from live footage broadcast on Galway broadcaster TG4.

Several of the fifteen people in Mayo jerseys who were on the pitch were clearly unaware of the game's rules. Members of the loyal group that admirably follow the Mayo team were seen shouting instructions from the GAA's football rule book to those on the pitch.

The majority of comments from the crowd centred on trying to inform the men in green and red that the object of the game was to pass the ball to people wearing the same jersey and not the other team.

Although it looked like they were beginning to get to grips with this particularly challenging rule just after half time having reduced the county's deficit to just two points, by mid-way through the same half it seemed they had forgotten the rule again as they puffed around the field in pursuit of Cork's lightning fast, scintillatingly skilful players.

The whereabouts of the Mayo footballers is still unknown and Cork people extend their full sympathies to the county's avid football fans, some of whom are the least Neanderthal of all GAA supporters.

If you hear any strange non-Corkonian accents at a junior B game near you please call the Mayo County Board with details.