Local business man posts on global social media giant to demand locals support their own

14th Jan 2015

A Cork business man has taken to multi-national giant Facebook to ask Cork people to support local businesses more in light of announcements from Starbucks and Wetherspoons that they are to open in the city centre.

“We spend our entire marketing budget with Facebook now”, said Fintan O’Driscoll-Walsh, owner of Please Like Us On Facebook Café, “ so I thought where better to appeal to Cork people to spend their money locally only Facebook”.

“Facebook is just so amazetastic! We have got over 1000 likes on our appeal already. Two people even sent us smiley faces. We want to get the message out there that Cork people really need to spend as much of their money locally as possible. I hope they appreciate that we’ve spent a stack of their money with Facebook to get that message out there.”

The social media giant that supplies users’ personal details to national security agencies, Boko Harem, ISIS and the devil said that it was delighted to provide a service for insecure business owners who need to be liked more than their rivals.

“We encourage this kind of marketing spend by local businesses”, said Facebook’s Kurt Fritzldungeon, “on behalf of Mr. Zuckerberg I would like to thank all Cork businesses and the double-Irish tax dodging scheme for contributing to his recent purchase of 700 acres of land in Hawaii”.