End of the World Called Off
It has become clear that the Official End of the World will now NOT take place in the immediate future as originally thought. The cancellation comes about due to the anihilation of Tipperary's hurlers by Cork at Pairc Úi Rinn on Saturday night.
According to many "experts" on the INTERNET the world would end in something like a giant free-for-all in the middle of Pairc Úi Chaoimh in mid-July with players, management, clubs and county board thrashing it out in a Battle Royal style civil war which would finish up as a black hole appearing at the City End Terrace.
|The black hole vortex thing has been cancelled|
This vortex would pull every hurley, sliotar, player, clubman, referee, coach and official into its gravitational field and on to oblivion – never to escape again – thus making Cork a non-hurling county.
Saturday night’s demonstration was reminiscent of some unexpected meteorite strike – this time the target was Tipperary and not Russia and the footage was even captured by TV cameras as Cork beat their provincial rivals by around a hundred points.
26 points minus wan goal and 11 equals a winning
margin of approx 100 points
The wizardry of Jimmy Barry Murphy’s men (and to be fair they’re just about old enough to be called such with only three of the starting fifteen over 25) was mind blowing and although nobody is getting overly excited (we at the People’s Republic only booked a few hotel rooms in Dublin for the All-Ireland final at full time) it is generally agreed that the Official End of The World will now not take place this season.
Temperatures in Cork are so high this weekend that the whitest people on earth are being asked to stay indoors...
Scientists at UCC have failed in their bid to come up with an everyday object that could be carried successfully in the basket of a Cork bike.