End of the World Called Off

Posted on Feb 26, 2013 in News, Sport

 
 

It has become clear that the Official End of the World will now NOT take place in the immediate future as originally thought. The cancellation comes about due to the anihilation of Tipperary's hurlers by Cork at Pairc Úi Rinn on Saturday night.

According to many "experts" on the INTERNET the world would end in something like a giant free-for-all in the middle of Pairc Úi Chaoimh in mid-July with players, management, clubs and county board thrashing it out in a Battle Royal style civil war which would finish up as a black hole appearing at the City End Terrace.


The black hole vortex thing has been cancelled

This vortex would pull every hurley, sliotar, player, clubman, referee, coach and official into its gravitational field and on to oblivion – never to escape again – thus making Cork a non-hurling county.

Saturday night’s demonstration was reminiscent of some unexpected meteorite strike – this time the target was Tipperary and not Russia and the footage was even captured by TV cameras as Cork beat their provincial rivals by around a hundred points.



26 points minus wan goal and 11 equals a winning
margin of approx 100 points

The wizardry of Jimmy Barry Murphy’s men (and to be fair they’re just about old enough to be called such with only three of the starting fifteen over 25) was mind blowing and although nobody is getting overly excited (we at the People’s Republic only booked a few hotel rooms in Dublin for the All-Ireland final at full time) it is generally agreed that the Official End of The World will now not take place this season.

 
Who else needs a Dinny funt?

Who else needs a Dinny funt?

An 83 year old man foiled a three-man raid in Glanmire last Saturday evening and in the process delivered a beautiful kick up the arse to one of the humiliated raiders. Who else needs a Dinny Funt?

Read More

Ten Starting Points for a Buskers Code

Ten Starting Points for a Buskers Code

A buskers’ code agreed between buskers, traders and residents is well worth pursuing before wrapping ourselves up in legal knots and slapping low-income buskers with fines...

Read More

10 and a Half Reasons That Prove Bob Marley Lived in Cork

10 and a Half Reasons That Prove Bob Marley Lived in Cork

It has been rumoured for years that Bob Marley lived in Cork...and possibly still does. Only that can explain the manic devotion to the reggae superstar on Leeside...

Read More

PROC’s FAQ Guide to Panaban’s Second Coming

PROC’s FAQ Guide to Panaban’s Second Coming

If you haven’t moved abroad in protest after the last time the Panaban was tried or set yourself on fire in defiance then check out our frequently asked questions guide to Panaban’s second coming.

Read More

Semi Final Flashbacks - Cork V Limerick Preview

Semi Final Flashbacks - Cork V Limerick Preview

This time last year Cork were Munster champions going into the All-Ireland semi-final on a high. It didn't end well. The Rebels have added some steel that should help avoid another semi drubbing but is it enough to beat a tough Limerick outfit?

Read More

 
 

Advertising