Woman murdered in Tullamore..

Matlock

Full Member
Maybe, just maybe, the majority of men on here don't hang out with fellas who would behave in a misogynic way towards women.

Also, if anyone gets unwanted comments from a drunken stranger in a public place, the best thing to do is not engage, as that risks escalating the situation.
If you dont then nothing is being required of you...

But sure, it should be the responsibility of the person being abused to ignore the abuse, rather than on the abuser not to abuse.
 
No one has suggested that it would. But correcting misogynistic behaviour would go a long way to making women feel safer.

It is unlikely that a man will murder me. It is very likely that one will shout abuse at me, or intimidate me etc though.

Swings both ways. Correcting misandristic behavior would go a long way as well.

I've often been targeted by it in my workplaces. In two places it was so bad I needed time off just to get away from it, otherwise I would have cracked up.

Before anyone asks what I did ro deserve it... I did nothing. I got excluded from day to day procedures. Meetings reorganised without notifying me and held in my 'absence' (which was escalated) . Others assuming my responsibilities in attempts to sideline me and ultimately attempting to get my contract terminated.

I was not the only man there who was targeted. There were many.

It accelerated and got worse when the original, well meaning, #metoo initiative was hijacked and abused for everything under the sun.

I've been 30 years in my industry. Never ever have I treated people differently because of sex, religion race n so on n so forth. I actually enjoy being involved with a good mix.

Men, yes... Check your behaviour and your mates behaviour.

Women, please start doing the same as you have come across as screamingly insane over the last couple of days.
 
Ideally I'd like them to take responsibility for changing by themselves rather than making it my job!

Maybe men could just take it as a rule from now on that you never need to wolf whistle at a woman. Most women dont like it, and the few that do must have fairly low self esteem. Imagine how impressed that cohort would be if you treated them with some dignity!

Likewise, no woman's day has ever been improved by a random man shouting at her to flash her tits. That's not something we get anything out of.

Similarly, if a woman is not smiling while going about her day, you can take it that she doesn't feel the need to smile. You telling her to cheer up will not, in fact, cheer her up. In fact, if you have ever told a woman to smile and her response has been to smile, that's not because you cheered her up, its because shes afraid of you.
You mentioned mentioned men need to be given an insight into how women feel with regards to their fears etc and I agree.

To increase understanding, I also think it should work the other way around also with regards to how men view these situations.

If I were walking down the street and women whistled at me I'd be delighted, and more so if the guy 50 yards ahead got no whistle. I'd take it as a compliment (they obviously think I'm better looking than the guy ahead, taking a compliment is not a sign of insecurity as you suggested), similarly getting my ass pinched in a pub, granted if they shouted at me to get my dick out I would think they are a bit odd.

Now if the above is my mindset and possibly many other men, then you can see how men will think such behaviour is relatively harmless so yes it is your responsibility to point out you don't like such behaviour, similarly if you were doing something to me you thought was harmless it would be up to me to let you know that I find it disturbing and why I find it off-putting.

I know it's not news that women suddenly find this behaviour disturbing but as from last night I think the message would have a greater chance of succeeding if it was simply look we don't find this funny or whatever as opposed to stop being such misogynist dicks which might be what you feel like saying but is unlikely to be as effective.
 
My husband is working so I have the kids. I don't think it is appropriate to expose two 5 year olds to this.

Just mentioning this because otherwise you will still be whinging on in 12 months about me not attending the Cork vigil, which is of course not the only vigil that I can attend.

You seem to really be struggling to answer whether or not you would intervene if your friend was abusing a woman. I wouldn't have thought it was a difficult question to be honest, but so be it.

Believe it or not, but some of would find the hypothetical scenario problematic.

It would be difficult for some to imagine a friend doing something like that because our value set might eliminate being friends with someone like them in the first place.

It’s like asking a parent what they would do if a child was convicted of a crime. For most of us the scenario is so unbelievable that it barely warrants a second thought.

Also in your hypothetical situation your assuming Hank has friends. 😀
 

Matlock

Full Member
Swings both ways. Correcting misandristic behavior would go a long way as well.

I've often been targeted by it in my workplaces. In two places it was so bad I needed time off just to get away from it, otherwise I would have cracked up.

Before anyone asks what I did ro deserve it... I did nothing. I got excluded from day to day procedures. Meetings reorganised without notifying me and held in my 'absence' (which was escalated) . Others assuming my responsibilities in attempts to sideline me and ultimately attempting to get my contract terminated.

I was not the only man there who was targeted. There were many.

It accelerated and got worse when the original, well meaning, #metoo initiative was hijacked and abused for everything under the sun.

I've been 30 years in my industry. Never ever have I treated people differently because of sex, religion race n so on n so forth. I actually enjoy being involved with a good mix.

Men, yes... Check your behaviour and your mates behaviour.

Women, please start doing the same as you have come across as screamingly insane over the last couple of days.
What are women doing that you consider insane?

Also, I've consistently said that women have this responsibility too. Maybe you missed that. There is a lot going on in this thread
 

Matlock

Full Member
Believe it or not, but some of would find the hypothetical scenario problematic.

It would be difficult for some to imagine a friend doing something like that because our value set might eliminate being friends with someone like them in the first place.

It’s like asking a parent what they would do if a child was convicted of a crime. For most of us the scenario is so unbelievable that it barely warrants a second thought.

Also in your hypothetical situation your assuming Hank has friends. 😀
To be fair, maybe I find that easier to imagine cos I meet perfectly " normal" people who have committed crimes all the time at work.

Also 😂😂😂
 

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