Whats a bad thing you’re done?

[Bennyton]

I was out in Belize a few years ago, and had picked up 200 John Player Blue in Duty Free on the way over.

I was out one night and when I got back there was a little monkey in the room, and the fucker had eaten all my fags. 200 Duty free ffs.

So I picked him up by the tail and fucked him into the sea.

I saw it hit a rock on the way in so it probably didn't notice too much.

200 John Player Blue like, the little prick

Hang, on, you murdered a Monkey?

 

[thegillabbeygowl]

I told jason gardiner off dancing on ice, I’d never heard of him.

 

[Happyhonkaman]

I'm "helping" my daughter to look for a teddy bear that I know full well I put in the attic. I keep forgetting to go and get it though

lol

I was never fighting or doing actual bad stuff in school but I was always on the hook for something or other, so I perfected being able to write exactly like my mum and wrote myself numerous notes to the school excusing me from homework and whatever else, The school copped on and it got to the point where I had accumulated enough points in my journal to get suspended but it hadn't been verified in the headmasters office yet so I hid the journal behind the water tank in the attic and reported it missing in school. They knew the score and called my parents in for a meeting the next day. I put on the performance at home looking everywhere for it, including the attic, no dice. My mum always believed what I told her so up she goes to the school with me the next day to the meeting and insists that if I said that I lost the journal that they were to believe me, while I sat there watching the teachers and principal glaring at me. Full reset on the points with the new journal, and the lost one is still in the attic I'd say

 

[dukeroyale]

Many moons ago I lived and shared a house in Dublin with 3 to 5 strangers. There was one guy who I absolutely hated and he was a dick. I used to go to work at 7 so I would be first up and I had a ensuite in my room so after I showered I would leave the hot water tap on till it went cold. He would take a shower in the main bathroom religiously around 8 ish and it would be ice cold and I would hear him shouting and cussing throw the hall. I did way worse but I leave it at that. I did that too for a solid 6 months in a row.

The owner lived next door so I one day I heard him complaining that somebody was using the hot water etc. she said she would check in morning so that morning I didn’t do a thing and the water was piping hot. She called him a gobsite or something was hilarious.

there’s a small detail here that makes this story total bullshit.

you went to work at 7.00 after letting the hot water run off but you heard him shouting in the hall after he took his religiously religiously important shows at 8.00.

 

[Bandon Langer]

Hang, on, you murdered a Monkey?

Do you actually believe that a) he caught a monkey by the tail, and b) fucked it out the window without the monkey fucking his shit up first and c) a monkey would eat 200 smokes

 

[Apollo Creed]

Fermoy could be paved with gold, its the people living there who suck tbh, lots of smalltown brain going on there, same in mitchelstown tbh.

Besides the goth/alternative people there, I find them hilarious, dressed up like Avril Lavigne but sounding like a fella from Killinaskully.

Lots of the towns in West Cork are lovely now, they've had investment, and theres local pride, etc.

Mallow, Mitchelstown, Fermoy all look fairly fucked, to be honest, they could do with some serious investment, even a decent sports center in each town would make a big difference.

Mallow is the biggest travesty. On the face of it, it has way more going for it then the other two. Has a railway and is close to the city but it is still a massive shithole.
It needs a bypass and better pedestrian links to the railway. Would make a massive difference to the town. Two things that were promised it and were supposed to be actually finished this year yet still no sign.

 

[dukeroyale]

Do you actually believe that a) he caught a monkey by the tail, and b) fucked it out the window without the monkey fucking his shit up first and c) a monkey would eat 200 smokes

you’d catch it by the tail handy enough if he’d eaten twenty fags. the monkey’s head would be spinning. not a clue where he was.

two hundred and he’d be on the floor.

 

[Matlock]

Mallow is the biggest travesty. On the face of it, it has way more going for it then the other two. Has a railway and is close to the city but it is still a massive shithole.
It needs a bypass and better pedestrian links to the railway. Would make a massive difference to the town. Two things that were promised it and were supposed to be actually finished this year yet still no sign.

The playground is great. The town itself is very mediocre though.

 

[Apollo Creed]

The playground is great. The town itself is very mediocre though.

It is, I agree. All on one street, that's run down and choked with traffic.
Just feel if you sorted the choked with traffic bit it would be a far more pleasant place.
Look at Macroom, no ones saying it's a masterpiece since but its definitely not the shithole people used to say it is.
At the moment Id take it over Mallow if forced to pick between the two. If Mallow was bypassed and had improved walkways it would be a much nicer place to live then it is now.

 

[leesider]

The playground is great. The town itself is very mediocre though.

Very mediocre is a compliment. Worked there years ago and the shopping centre really took from the main street, and the shoppping centre is one of those horrible type of shopping centres built in the early 2000's that don't age well. Traffic on the Main St is another issue. It would be great if Irish towns were more forward thinking, pedistrianise the main st to make it a better experience because Mallow has the population now to support plenty of businesses. I know that most of the young crowd there head into the city because there is no night life anymore in the town and they can get the train.