it is war related but fits here perfectly too:
US Official Returns From Brussels Shaken After Realizing Europe Has Its Own Interests, Not a Suburb of Washington
WASHINGTON — In a stunning revelation that rocked absolutely no one outside his own office,
a senior US official returned from a NATO ministerial meeting in Brussels deeply distressed to discover that European countries sometimes act like… independent countries.
Sources say the official spent several days in Brussels “trying to understand why Europeans keep switching hats,” apparently
unaware that sovereign states can belong to more than one international institution without swearing a blood oath to serve US domestic politics.
According to the official’s emotional trip report, Europeans had the audacity to support climate policy, regulate social media platforms, and
make decisions not pre-approved by America’s angst-industrial complex.
“It’s hypocrisy,” the official lamented, pointing out that the same countries who value NATO cooperation also—brace yourself—value EU cooperation.
“How dare they not treat US interests as the gravitational center of the universe?”
He then accused the EU of being “unelected and undemocratic,” bravely ignoring the fact that EU commissioners are appointed by democratically elected governments, while the US was recently led by a man who tried to overturn an election with a cosplay riot.
The author further warned that Europe is on the verge of “civilizational suicide,” a diagnosis he reached after spending 48 hours in Brussels and discovering Europeans think universal healthcare is normal, mass surveillance is not, and that maybe Cuba isn’t an existential threat to the West in 2025.
When asked whether Europe might simply be tired of being lectured by a country currently debating whether book bans, forced pregnancy laws, and TikTok hearings constitute “freedom,” the official declined to comment, citing national security.
Back in Washington, analysts confirmed that his report adds nothing new to the geopolitical landscape except a powerful reminder:
Some Americans still believe “partnership” means Europe salutes, smiles, and signs whatever paperwork Washington hands over.
www.politico.eu
www.theguardian.com
