Jokes thread......

[Skybluebarry1]

Young lad pulls an older woman at a club. She's 61 but looks very good for her age
. On the way back to her house bloke is thinking mmm! i bet her daughter is hot.
When out of the blue she asks if he'd like a 'Sportsman's Double'?
"Whats that?" he asks. "It's a Mother & daughter threesome!" He says. "WOW YES please.
So as they go in her front door, she puts the hall light on & shouts "Mum put your fuckin teeth in, he's up for it"!!

 

[Skybluebarry1]

A priest addressing congregation said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar."


With that, a traveller got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Henry, what do you want me to pray about for you?"

Henry replied, "Father, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."

The priest put one finger of one hand in Henry's ear, placed his other hand on top of Henry's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.

After a few minutes, the priest removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Henry, how is your hearing now?"

Henry answered, "I don't know. It ain't until next week."

 

[Dr. Aaoouh]

 

[Hallbopping]

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.

Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He's a web designer.

 

[Yermon]

Pooman in Kilarney pulls an older woman at a club. She's 61 but looks very good for her age
. On the way back to her house bloke is thinking mmm! i bet her daughter is hot.
When out of the blue she asks if he'd like a 'Sportsman's Double'?
"Whats that?" he asks. "It's a Mother & daughter threesome!" He says. "WOW YES please.
So as they go in her front door, she puts the hall light on & shouts "Mum put your fuckin teeth in, he's up for it"!!

FYP

 

[sigourney's knickers]

 

[Hallbopping]

 

[Stromovka]

 

[Two Pour Bore]

The dog should be rewarded for that.

 

[Skybluebarry1]

An elderly couple who were both widowed had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends they decided it was finally time to get married.
Before the wedding they went out to dinner and had a long discussion regarding how the marriage would work out.They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
Finally the old gentleman decided it was time to approach the subject of their physical relationship.How do you feel about sex he asked. I would like it infrequently she replied.
The old gentleman sat quietly for a while,adjusted his glasses,then leaned over towards her and whispered, is that one word or two.



I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse
Apparently the instruction finish of on her face
didn't mean what i thought it did



Two nuns driving down a road late at night when a vampire jumps onto the bonnet of their car.
The nun who was driving says to the other nun---quick show him your cross.

So she leans out of the window and shouts---get off our f---ing car