Jokes thread......

[Skybluebarry1]

A blind man goes to a brothel. Being blind, he hands over his cash not knowing he's rented the ugliest fat bird in the place.

She takes him upstairs, strips off and then tells him to get himself acquainted. He rubs his hands over her face, her tits and then turns her over and goes down to her very spotty arse.

All of a sudden, he recoils in horror.

She says "Don't worry, it's only acne".

He says "thank fuck for that, I thought it was the price list".

 

[Great-Bit-O-Stuff]

Urgh. Thanks be I've barely eaten

 

[Carmona]

Take a fucking break, mate.

 

[Skybluebarry1]

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut, and bruised, and he's walking with a limp.

"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
"That little O'Conner?" says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you. He must have had something in his hand."
"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself. Didn't you have something in your hand?"
" That I did," said Paddy, "Both hands on Mrs. O'Conner's breasts, and things of beauty they are, but useless in a fight."

 

[Cleric Pubetic]

Can someone please unplug his modem?

I have had enough of bar stool jokes.

 

[greengrass]

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut, and bruised, and he's walking with a limp.

"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
"That little O'Conner?" says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you. He must have had something in his hand."
"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself. Didn't you have something in your hand?"
" That I did," said Paddy, "Both hands on Mrs. O'Conner's breasts, and things of beauty they are, but useless in a fight."

Ffs take another few days off.

 

[Skybluebarry1]

The opposition to my jokes are growing by the day. Would i be correct in thinking that there is an ignore function on here that they can use.

 

[Cleric Pubetic]

The opposition to my jokes are growing by the day. Would i be correct in thinking that there is an ignore function on here that they can use.

I don't want to ignore anyone. Especially not you.

Let.someone else have a go off the PlayStation?

 

[King Silkbeard]

Keep the jokes coming.?

 

[greengrass]

The opposition to my jokes are growing by the day. Would i be correct in thinking that there is an ignore function on here that they can use.

You would. There's also a jokes thread that You could ignore. ?