Seeing all the Celtic fans celebrating winning the Scottish Premiership reminded me of that time I broke open a bottle of champagne after beating my 6 year old daughter in an arm wrestle.
Nollaig O Muracu came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep,' Nollaig was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!' St.. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'
Nollaig was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.... The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?' 'Not bad , 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!' 'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before? ' 'Never,' said Nollaig. 'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.' Nollaig did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Nollaig was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell.....
Nollaig o Muracu, wake up....... You've shit the bed!