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Global conquests.

G

Greed is Good

 
On a recent business trip to the China I fell ill with a stomach complaint. I am the very picture of health and vitality but even I need rest and recuperation from time to time. I was booked into top Shanghais top private hospital and nearing the end of my stay. A pretty young nurse came around one morning and told me she was going to diagnose me. I said that I had already been diagnosed by the doctor and was nearly recovered. With a wry smile she lifted up the bedothes and in her imperfect English declared "you are suffering from Big Penis".

Well I was not going to argue.

On another occasion on a trip to Lagos I brought back a buxom receptionist. I told her that here was a white man who could hold his own in terms of penis size compared with the African male. She eagerly pulled my trousers down and declared "you sho am dat Honey, you sho am dat!".
 
Greed is Good said:
On a recent business trip to the China I fell ill with a stomach complaint. I am the very picture of health and vitality but even I need rest and recuperation from time to time. I was booked into top Shanghais top private hospital and nearing the end of my stay. A pretty young nurse came around one morning and told me she was going to diagnose me. I said that I had already been diagnosed by the doctor and was nearly recovered. With a wry smile she lifted up the bedothes and in her imperfect English declared "you are suffering from Big Penis".

Well I was not going to argue.

On another occasion on a trip to Lagos I brought back a buxom receptionist. I told her that here was a white man who could hold his own in terms of penis size compared with the African male. She eagerly pulled my trousers down and declared "you sho am dat Honey, you sho am dat!".
Click to expand...
Compared to the Chinese, she probably thought 3 inches was large.
 
Greed is Good said:
On a recent business trip to the China I fell ill with a stomach complaint. I am the very picture of health and vitality but even I need rest and recuperation from time to time. I was booked into top Shanghais top private hospital and nearing the end of my stay. A pretty young nurse came around one morning and told me she was going to diagnose me. I said that I had already been diagnosed by the doctor and was nearly recovered. With a wry smile she lifted up the bedothes and in her imperfect English declared "you are suffering from Big Penis".

Well I was not going to argue.

On another occasion on a trip to Lagos I brought back a buxom receptionist. I told her that here was a white man who could hold his own in terms of penis size compared with the African male. She eagerly pulled my trousers down and declared "you sho am dat Honey, you sho am dat!".
Click to expand...

Screenshot_20260313_121909_Facebook.jpg
 
Took a spin up to the big smoke Dublin there last year thinking I’d show the gaff how a Cork man pulls everything in sight except himself. Now unfortunately the old ball n' chain would have one believe I'm a happily married man because if I were ever to cheat on her she'd take the house and kids. I've repeatedly pointed out to her I can always make more kids like. She thinks I'm joking but she was never any good at school because I found one of her old reports in the attic plus her lack of brightness is how i got her to marry me anyway, but she's a good little ride and she'll throw on boots and shit if you know you know am I right lads.

First thing I notice is the women up there looking at me like I’d just landed off a spaceship when they hear the accent. One girl in a bar goes “Are you from Cork?” and I says “I am yaaaaaaaaaaaaaa love, the real capital of Ireland,” and she starts throwing shapes - lucky for her I didn't throw her a box, because I don't box girls, only women. I should say by women I mean the Barbie Kardasian ones whatever the fuck they are, am I right lads, go on Enoch ya cunt.

By the end of the night I’m standing outside a chipper on O’Connell Street surrounded by three Dublin old ones begging for IT and my number then the fucking wife calls, bollocks says I, and I was promised a few scatter cushions if I handed out the bump and grind.

Any way got the bus back home for 2pm and said nothing to herself, as when I arrived home the kids were out the back trying to pull the tail off the jack russel and she was passed out on the couch with an empty bottle of Malibu on the floor. Before you ask, yes she's a keeper.
 
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