Friends, Drink and Loneliness in Ireland

There's a lot of loneliness in Ireland. I'd include myself in that. I don't have a partner and didn't get on with dating. I don't have kids. With the ups and downs of life I've made many friends and many friends groups and we've gone our separate ways as the years went on. Talking to someone with thirty years on me (and I'm not young) they still meet up with their school friends for the big day out, not the people they met once they hit their twenties and later. I've heard people say Ireland has a problem with making friendships in adulthood. And the same people say Ireland has a problem with drink.

Old people are going mental on the streets and in the pubs after two years without them. I and the people I know show there's absolutely no willingness for people to meet up to "do something." I wouldn't even know how to get people to agree to "do something" (despite trying) and I wouldn't even know what you could do if people would agree. The pub and booze is always there, and a lot can happen quietly between a pint and an ad break in a match on TV. A lot can be said when you're the first two people into the pub and, "Did you hear? X is not well." And no-one mentions it again, but everyone pays a little bit more attention. A lot of informal connection can be made just sitting next to someone for four or five hours.

You hear of people scoffing when "rural" pints and pubs were taken away, smoking bans and drink driving bans. "It's dangerous!" And now drink in places with bus routes is too expensive, "You can have a coffee. Drink is bad." Find me a café with the same wander-in, wander-out clientele as a bar.

When people talk about Ireland's drinking problem, and tackling it, and people defend the pub as a "social event" they never say the truth. It always becomes about "drinking" and never about the isolation. The isolation drinking transcends. The two are totally tied together where tackling one without the other will end up in disaster. And you'd only ever hear hints at people talking about this problem (to be fair, the vested interest @ikari warrior has been one.)

I was just wondering what the PROC thinks about this? There's plenty of mentions of families and partners on here (restaurant thread is an example) and dating and missuses (or exes) so not everyone is completely alone. Is there a general understanding in Ireland (and Cork) that there are, I'd guess, many people who feel alone and are just getting by, and the pub and drink is how they get by. Now, after two years of feeling horrifically alone (at a minimum) pub prices, and violence, and scare stories, and heating and food costs are making a lot of people more alone than ever. Which is hard to deal with when two years of lockdown and isolation have made people people feel more fully than ever how isolated they actually are.
 

Great-Bit-O-Stuff

Full Member
I agree somewhat. I have no problem dating or finding sexual partners but only talk to a few school friends now. College as a mature student was particularly difficult as all the young people hate you.
I saw an ad looking for a teacher in Africa and am thinking of applying.
 
I agree somewhat. I have no problem dating or finding sexual partners but only talk to a few school friends now. College as a mature student was particularly difficult as all the young people hate you.
I saw an ad looking for a teacher in Africa and am thinking of applying.
Ah here, it's Brad himself watch out for the Nigerian ones.
 
There's a lot of loneliness in Ireland. I'd include myself in that. I don't have a partner and didn't get on with dating. I don't have kids. With the ups and downs of life I've made many friends and many friends groups and we've gone our separate ways as the years went on. Talking to someone with thirty years on me (and I'm not young) they still meet up with their school friends for the big day out, not the people they met once they hit their twenties and later. I've heard people say Ireland has a problem with making friendships in adulthood. And the same people say Ireland has a problem with drink.

Old people are going mental on the streets and in the pubs after two years without them. I and the people I know show there's absolutely no willingness for people to meet up to "do something." I wouldn't even know how to get people to agree to "do something" (despite trying) and I wouldn't even know what you could do if people would agree. The pub and booze is always there, and a lot can happen quietly between a pint and an ad break in a match on TV. A lot can be said when you're the first two people into the pub and, "Did you hear? X is not well." And no-one mentions it again, but everyone pays a little bit more attention. A lot of informal connection can be made just sitting next to someone for four or five hours.

You hear of people scoffing when "rural" pints and pubs were taken away, smoking bans and drink driving bans. "It's dangerous!" And now drink in places with bus routes is too expensive, "You can have a coffee. Drink is bad." Find me a café with the same wander-in, wander-out clientele as a bar.

When people talk about Ireland's drinking problem, and tackling it, and people defend the pub as a "social event" they never say the truth. It always becomes about "drinking" and never about the isolation. The isolation drinking transcends. The two are totally tied together where tackling one without the other will end up in disaster. And you'd only ever hear hints at people talking about this problem (to be fair, the vested interest @ikari warrior has been one.)

I was just wondering what the PROC thinks about this? There's plenty of mentions of families and partners on here (restaurant thread is an example) and dating and missuses (or exes) so not everyone is completely alone. Is there a general understanding in Ireland (and Cork) that there are, I'd guess, many people who feel alone and are just getting by, and the pub and drink is how they get by. Now, after two years of feeling horrifically alone (at a minimum) pub prices, and violence, and scare stories, and heating and food costs are making a lot of people more alone than ever. Which is hard to deal with when two years of lockdown and isolation have made people people feel more fully than ever how isolated they actually are.
A very thoughtful post, TPB. I think modem culture is not kind on the spirit. We were communal animals for a very long time but we have sectioned ourselves off into small family units or single units. Some people throw themselves into work, others into movements or sport, and some into drink and drugs. There is off, brutal about our experience. I have a wife and kids who I love dearly but I spend most of my time driving to activities, our tending to the house and family’s needs. I often feel lonely too.
 
A very thoughtful post, TPB. I think modem culture is not kind on the spirit. We were communal animals for a very long time but we have sectioned ourselves off into small family units or single units. Some people throw themselves into work, others into movements or sport, and some into drink and drugs. There is off, brutal about our experience. I have a wife and kids who I love dearly but I spend most of my time driving to activities, our tending to the house and family’s needs. I often feel lonely too.
The grass isn't always greener....
 

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