Autism

[jimmym]

Hi all, attended a meeting tonight re school refusal, about 30 other parents there, main point made was not to force the issue, baby steps, Dont blame yourselves,
Good to hear other stories

 

[Clairecarebear]

Hi all, attended a meeting tonight re school refusal, about 30 other parents there, main point made was not to force the issue, baby steps, Dont blame yourselves,
Good to hear other stories

Excellent Jimmy.

 

[knockfiarna]

Hi all, attended a meeting tonight re school refusal, about 30 other parents there, main point made was not to force the issue, baby steps, Dont blame yourselves,
Good to hear other stories

Great to hear that ,often you feel you are alone and the only one out there having problems. One size doesent fit all and listening to the lived experiences of others is often a succour and of benefit when things are not going well.
Hope things go well for your young lad ,it's a worry for any family but as someone who of often catastrophises stuff in my own life I've learnt to take a breath and rationalise things.
Looking back sometimes I think I've over analysed and worried too much ,this has led to feelings of being just overwhelmed and despair. Don't ever be alone in dealing with issues for your son ,sometimes as parents we don't always have the answers but the biggest thing we can do is be there for our kids and a simple hug sometimes can be enough to tell them we love them and understand. Best of luck going forward .

 

[jimmym]

Great to hear that ,often you feel you are alone and the only one out there having problems. One size doesent fit all and listening to the lived experiences of others is often a succour and of benefit when things are not going well.
Hope things go well for your young lad ,it's a worry for any family but as someone who of often catastrophises stuff in my own life I've learnt to take a breath and rationalise things.
Looking back sometimes I think I've over analysed and worried too much ,this has led to feelings of being just overwhelmed and despair. Don't ever be alone in dealing with issues for your son ,sometimes as parents we don't always have the answers but the biggest thing we can do is be there for our kids and a simple hug sometimes can be enough to tell them we love them and understand. Best of luck going forward .

Great post, One parent spoke last night, she is a teacher herself, Her 14 year old daughter is refusing to go to school , The mother spoke of the stress it has
put on the family, One reason for her refusing is that they are not allowed to go to the toilet during a class, Classes are one hour long, For a teenage girl and all they go through that toilet ban is cruel, The mother was very articulate and well able but you could tell she is mentally worn from this,
The lady who hosted the event said since covid school refusal has doubled, I like you tend to worry a lot and over think things, Reality is things are seldom as bad as you think,

 

[PROCNA2018]

Sadly things have deteriorated in recent weeks with our 13 year old, Has not gone to school in 10 days, In fairness the school have tried their best,
They organised a taxi for him, The taxi called yesterday and this morning but he refused to go,
He is getting more and more aggressive and controlling at home, He threatened myself, wife and his little sister with a knife recently,
I rang Tusla but all you get is a bit of sympathy, Same with gardai when i rang them before xmas as he again threatened us with a knife,
Guards said there is nothing really they can do as long as he no longer had the knife, His controlling behaviour means if i want to go for a run with my friends he has to come with us on his bike, otherwise if i go and he stays home he could wreak havoc, At his stage we feel as if we are at the end of the line with him,
We have had him for counselling, He has been with pieta, camhs,

I have not been on as often as usual Jimmy and I am sorry to read the above update.

Again just offering some advice not in any way telling you what to do or anything.....

There is apparently an aspect of autism which manifests in the need to control all aspects of life. I don't mean like knowing routine in advance but only eating certain food types but rather the uncertainty of ANY situation provokes a sensory response which manifests itself ultimately in frustration and anger because the child can't understand it, can't control their reaction to it and the frustration boils over. This can extend to any situation, parents not being present, not getting specific food types, not going to where they expect or want and including therapeutic help which because they can't explain because they don't understand - actually amplifies rather than resolves the situation.

I only know above from other parents I have met through the course of our own journey..

I go back to what I said about school and Christmas etc. And again only my thoughts not telling you or anything, it is very much a softly softly exercise and building understanding and tolerance over extended time. A friend of mine took the taxi with them, walked into school and when they started to stim etc took them home. And did the same over and over. Introducing them even for a few mins to the ANA/SNAs involved so that they can build a trust / relationship with them, driving over to the school just to go there and come back......small and unfortunately prolonged steps might help.

I really hope the situation improves for you Jimmy and as always if you need anything PM away.

 

[jimmym]

Hi all, Well the young fella is still at home, The week before last i was between laughing and wanting to choke him when he
said Mid term break next week, We have tried everything and are now at the stage where we are going to just go with the flow,
It is very sad to see him waste his potential and he does have potential,

 

[hurley68]

Hi all, Well the young fella is still at home, The week before last i was between laughing and wanting to choke him when he
said Mid term break next week, We have tried everything and are now at the stage where we are going to just go with the flow,
It is very sad to see him waste his potential and he does have potential,

I know well what ye are going through.
Don't go to war with the lad over it.
Please God things will work out.

 

[fed up]

Can the school not send on what his class are covering on a daily basis?

 

[jimmym]

Can the school not send on what his class are covering on a daily basis?

He wont even do that, At his stage i am trying not to stress about it, He will suffer for this in years to come but that will be for him to deal with,

 

[fed up]

He wont even do that, At his stage i am trying not to stress about it, He will suffer for this in years to come but that will be for him to deal with,

Ah right Jim, now I understand where you were coming from at Christmas.